not feeling good

@Zoe7@outlander@Former-Member

Hubby is home but I’m going to disappear. In my head I’m going to drive away later on. I’ll tell him I need to go to the shops but I’ll go away. I can’t talk to him. I don’t know how to start the conversation. It’s too hard. My head is telling me so much at the moment. I’m not needed st home anymore. I’m sorry I have worried you and everyone else. I can’t think. Not sure really what to do. I’m confused.

What will that achieve @BlueBay - you will still feel the same way but you won't be home where you feel the safest. Think about why you want to disappear - it is not just because you can't handle it anymore it is because you want others to know you are feeling this pain. If you 'disappear' then that will cause others pain too - do you want that to happen?

We here know you are in pain and will sit with you through it but we can only do so much here to support you - what can you do right now to distract yourself and help you get out of your head a bit more?

@Zoe7

Im still st home. I fell asleep on the lounge. Im not going anywhere Zoe. I was angry overwhelmed hurt sad emotional and needed to release my pain and run away. But it wouldn’t help me nor my family.

Im not thinking at the moment. This mornings appt with my dr triggered stuff and I can’t deal with it.

I need to go Zoe. Chat soon. Xx

Will be here for you when you return BB - take care Hon @BlueBay

@BlueBay just leaving these here for you...

Thank you my beautiful friend @Zoe7

❤️❤️BB

Just finishing dinner I’ll come on soon. Xx

Thought you needed a bit of a lift tonight BB - chat soon @BlueBay

@Zoe7

Im feeling anxious. I haven’t really spoken to hubby. I basically told him about my visit to doctor and that he thinks I’m not improving with my depression. He just sat there and didn’t say a word. I couldn’t tell him about my sh thoughts or suicidal thoughts or running away. Couldn’t even tell him about me crying so much each night when going to bed.

I don’t know what to do Zoe. I’m not a good communicator. I’m not a good wife am I ? I’m hopeless 😥

Just because you can't verbalise what is happening for you does not make you a bad wife - it is not easy to communicate such sadness to others BB - it is even harder when we do not fully understand where that is coming from or why it happens so often ourselves.

You took the first step in talking to your husband about your appointment and what the gp said about your depression not getting any better - that is the first step. The next step is to try to talk to him about how you are thinking - that may take a bit more time for you to get the courage up to do that Hon but working on a way to do that is what we are here to help you with if you want to talk it out @BlueBay ...and of course there is the helpline here if you need that extra support to talk through things that you cannot write on here.

You may even find that your husband is aware of some of these things but does not know how to bring it up with you either - maybe you are on the same page and don't even know it

Can you pls help me @Zoe7

but only if you have time. I don’t want to take up your time just on me. If you’re busy it’s ok

I just don’t know how to start the conversation on my crying at night. I want him to know so he understands but I don’t want to be smothered either. I need my space to let the emotions out.

Youre right I don’t even know what’s going on so how am I supposed to verbalise it to hubby. Mental Illness is a very hard and delicate topic.