not feeling good

sitting with you @BlueBay

It’s so hard @BlueBay ..... Ihave to put on a mask and go about my day even though there are times when I am crying inside .....

i tried to take off off the mask in the early months of my hubby’s illness, and instead of support, I got locked out of everyone’s attention and understanding, because the illness is so well hidden. I have had to wear a mask, and have a life, since, or walk out, and with the controlling way he was at that one, it would have been a disaster that ruined everything we hold dear. Little did I knowI would still be doing this strange mask-wearing 8-9 year’s later, but the ed is starting to show, and I have already had people commenting to me, worried about how unwell he is looking ..... and still the medical readings are not there to register the ed .....

Have to keep swimming ..... and that means wearing a mask so we are not a bucket of tears everywhere we go @BlueBay, and we work on the problems on the background, or in hospital, or on the phone to Lifeline, and other places where we can take down the mask and let the tears flow for a while.

Hugs n hugs Hon .., ❤️❤️❤️

Thankyou @Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@outlander

I've been home for a while now and feeling exhausted. Going to get some support from Sane helpline soon. Need extra support.

Wish I could give up but I csnt for my little beautiful grand daughter the love of my life

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@outlander@utopia@Zoe7@Sans911

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow morning at 8.30. I also managed to get an appt to see my psychologist tomorrow st 5pm. This is really good because I can talk to both of them and let them know how this past week has been.

Tiday is another day st work. Just 4 hours. Hope it goes quick. My so called friend is there today. But I'm going to stay busy and stay out of the way. I csnt be bothered with her at the moment. I think it's my depression and wanting to withdraw from everyone.

Also I declined dinner with work colleagues two weeks ago for a farewell and now we have another this Friday. Now I really don't want to go. I said yes but I just don't want to go. I just want to stay home.

Do you guys think I should go ?

BB xxx

Morning @BlueBay .... 💕

Why don’t you see how you feel on Friday ? It really is day by day for you at the moment, so you don’t know how you will be by then, it seems to me.

Yeah @Faith-and-Hope i think that's what I'll do. I'm not in the mood or frame of mind to socialise and "be happy" at the moment. I just want to be home in my comfort zone. But I'll see how I feel on Friday. Thsnks 😊

Just focus on today @BlueBay and see how you go ....

💜

yes my @BlueBay, I would wait to see how you feel on friday

hugs for today sis

Thsnks for the hugs @Shaz51

I really don't want to be at work today. It sucks. Can't wait to go home and be safe. Wish I could just go niw. I need safety niw.

@Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@utopia@Zoe7@outlander

I'm home drinking a coffee. I'm supposed to go out and buy dinner but I just rang hubby and he'll now go and buy it. I just can't go out to the supermarket. I feel safe and cocooned in my place. I faced the world with work and that's all I can do at the moment. I csnt do snymore. It's getting much. But it's also destroying me as my anxiety is quite high.