not feeling good

I am glad we met each other too @BlueBay

And yes - you can get it wrong - we all can - but making mistakes is just part of normal living

We learn by them - your mother and mine taught us making mistakes was disastrous - which is not the case - sometimes we can really do a number - but it is all part of life

btw - TS was also taught never to make a mistake - and has she made some terrible mistakes - but the doesn't own them - that's wrong - to learn from our mistakes - to live a life free of fear of mistakes - is healthy

And about the calm before the storm - I think you were right about that - and I hope you are feeling a little calmer now - and yes - it is a major trigger

Dec

Love how you call a spade a spade @Decadian .... ❤️

Hi @BlueBay .... 🤗💕

Those feelings of insecurity travel a bit with everyone .... but it's okay ... they dissipate as you make your way forward, like the sunshine dissolving morning mist ....

@BlueBay

I'm the same when like now when I'm starting to make headway and move forward this is the time I'm the most scared that I will ruin it. The other day when I was freaking out at what my partner sister did I was mainly freaking out because I didnt want to lose what i had achieved so far.

I'm so happy that things seem to be moving forward for you.

Taek care

Hi @Change123

When someone does something horrible to us or someone we love and won't talk about it - says it's all in the past and leave it there etc!!!! that is really hard to deal with - I get that and have a freak-out about what has happened in the past myself -

But alas - family business is a strange thing - it can be wonderful or it can be really bad - and we have no control over it - and it is uncomfortable for some people - they don't want to be upset - and the "upset" for us can be something to really freak out about

Alas - we can only talk to people who understand and a lot of us have been there - or are there - or have spells of freak outs

I don't want to lose what I have gained either - I would not want to go back to relive one day of my life - knowing how living one great day might mean having to live or the others - no - I think no one wants to back-slide

I don't know what your sister-in-law did - but I have TS in my life and I often wonder what on earth motivates her and her stuff goes on and on and I wonder where she gets it all from - I don't understand her at all

Perhaps the struggle to maintain our lives in dignity with the awareness of the shaddows of the past will continue - but better that than living in denial - but tough - I know

Dec

hello @BlueBay

It was good to see your calming profile pic

tho sometimes we might not feel that way on the inside

I am back from my trip.

Hi @BlueBay

I am here right now

Dec

Hi @BlueBay

What do I do when I feel panic - and yes I do - I have a major freak if I have to have a tooth out

And everyone who hears me - like the taxi-driver, the dental nurses, the dentist - anyone else around - gets a serve of my instant jokes - which can be really funny and I can't turn it off and it's serious

But you have asked if @Change123 or I are here - and I am

What's the panic about? Or if you can't talk about it - how can I help - I don't think my freaky - panic mode jokes will help much

Dec