not feeling good

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@frog@Zoe7@utopia

i haven't slept so much like last night. Fell asleep early on the couch after talking to you Zoe woke up at 11 went to bed and went to straight to sleep until now. Think my body is exhausted. I still feel not good depressed and wanting to escape from all my problems. I have a lot of fear and don't want to face them. My inner child has a lot to do with this I think. Why can't I just disappear? Why can't I just take something? I had a dream last night thst I would call my doctor this morning and tell him I was going to take my tablets and needed his help. He pleaded with me not to take them and he was going to call sn ambulance to take me to hospital.

@frog My son arrived in London safely. I'm sorry I can't remember has your daughter left already?

Im upset niw because my memory is not good anymore. I hate this I hate me I hate everything. I want to go away now.

Oh im so screwed up.

I just want to curl up and cry.

Morning @BlueBay ❤️

Anything like your son going away is bound to upset you when you are already feeling fragile Hon.

What self-care things can you invest in for today, because it’s a good idea to make this a self-care day .... a pyjama day maybe .....

Hugs n hugs .....

I don't know anymore @Faith-and-Hope.

I could knit. Have to clean the house hubby will help me.

I don't know.

Dont really care

suppose I could go and see Ayla

it feels like my life my enjoyment has been ripped from me

Just take it hour by hour @BlueBay .... and remember to stop and take some deep breaths when you are feeling overwhelmed, and make a warm cup of tea to hold, and sip slowly. These things will help ..... it’s all self-care.

❤️

Ok @Faith-and-Hope

ok hour by hour and if I feel like I can't or I need help I will come on here. Thsnks F&H xxxx

Hugs @BlueBay ❤️

@BlueBay glad to hear your son has safely touched down in London. My daughter is heading to Paris tomorrow morning. Don't beat yourself up about memory, though I also get frustrated with mine.

I don't usually speculate about dreams but to me that one of yours is telling you that you want help, not a final out. I can hear how much you are suffering. You sound completely exhausted apart from anything else. Is hospital an option?

@frog

My Gp doesn't agree with me going into hospital because he says every time I go in I come out worse. I don't know I really don't. My psychiatrist doesn't know how bad I am. I've made another appt to see my psychologist earlier for next week. If I get to see her I'll let her know I bad I am.

You know yesterday at work a customer came in and asked to see another co-worker and told her that her husband passed away. She said said said she didn't tell me but didn't give a reason. I knew her husband quite well and took that really personally. Why did she tell the other co-worker who by the way is a friend of mine. I feel so invalidated like I don't exist. I'm a nobody. I feel so angry this morning. I'm angry at my friend. Why do people have to tell her first and not me.

@frog I bet you're daughter is excited. I hope she arrives safely.

I'll chat later I need to go snd think about my pathetic life. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just not good. I'm sorry for bothering you snd everyone else eith my problems.

BB xxoo

I can't think properly

I'm all confused

my life is messed up

im messed up

im thinking I should dusappear

iy would be easy

no one would know

they wouldn't miss me

I don't know

im angry

I can't think

im dissociating this morning

Hi @BlueBay,

Sending you an email now to check in.

Best,

Flipper