not feeling good

@Former-Member @Former-Member@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member and anyone else I forgot sorry

I don't know anymore.

Its all too hard

@BlueBay

💕 🌺

I can't try anymore

it's too dark

im very confused in my head

I am wanting to hurt myself badly

@BlueBay

I have to go offline for a while now @BlueBay .....

Please call crisis support services if you need to .... or CATT team Hon.

Will be thinking of you and I will check back in later .......

❤️

@BlueBay@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member

BlueBay i understand a bit of what your going through, ive had a rough day and thoughts of not wanting this life anymore, so sick of feeling down most of the time.

Thoughts of having a relief of thinking now what, and how to get through it.

Every morning wishing i didn't wake up

knowing i have another day to go through alone, no one to have a cuppa or chat with

Then thinking i just give up on life itself, it hurts to much.

Hugs @saturnzoon, @BlueBay

sitting with you

Hi @Former-Member@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Zoe7@utopia and others I've forgotten

thanks everyone for your support ❤️

I had an appt with my doctor this morning and told him my continued pain in my stomach. Finally he's decided I need a gastroscopy. Then I had my psychologist appt. OMG what a session. We talked about my mum and my brother (one of my abusers). I told her I'm angry. She said just let go and be who you want just feel what you want snd go with it. Next thing I was sobbing and told her I need to hide. She said go wherever you need. Just go eith it. Next thing I'm hiding behind a couch in her room. Sobbing and eyes closed. Telling her I don't want this anymore I hate my brother. And I want to run away and hide. After sobbing fir a while she was right next to me patting my back. She said to me "is hiding working fir you" and I replied in between sobbing no it's not working. So she slowly got me up from the floor I was very overwhelmed scared and emotionsl. She made me push my hands against her hands and said to me "push your anger out" I did push and cried.

It was such an intense session. Then she made me picture my inner child and picture at the beach where she loves eith her favourite dog. She was playing in the sand and in the water. Being free was so nice for her. But I was still crying.

I told my psychologist that she is scared and lost. She put her arms out and made me hold her hands and said to me "you will heal your inner child and you will heal yourself too". She then gave me a hug and told me she will help me heal. I told her I was scared but she said it's ok you are safe now.

Im completely drained physically and mentally. My doctor doesn't want me to be home alone this afternoon because things go haywire when alone. But I've put a load of washing on and I think I might knit.

Or sleep!!!

Such a hard session @BlueBay but you did well - wtg