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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor24 May 2018, 2:05 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Former-Member
I spent a little bit of time with my grand daughter 8 month old Ayla. But now it's made things worse. I'm grieving my inner child. I'm crying so much for the loss I've missed out on. The childhood the friends I never had. I never had any of that. I hate my life. I need to get away. I can't cope with today or any day. I don't know. Crying has caused a headache. My little child didn't know any different she was taken advantage of. She was used and abused. She'll never get the chance to have her childhood back again. It's so damn hard. I can't handle today @Former-Member.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor24 May 2018, 2:09 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@utopia every time I try thst I end up sobbing so much. It's one of the most difficult things to do. I tried thst in a session and I couldn't do it. I ended trying to hug myself but I ended up sobbing. I think my psychologist was worried today because I keep telling her that I want to run away hurt myself. She asked me today how long I've been like this and I told her about 6 months. Think she might tell my psych.

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 3:46 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I can't imagine just how hard it would be @BlueBay. As I've found out myself, a lot of things that will help me are bloody hard and painful. Some I manage to do. Others I've still not learnt how to do them.
Unfortunately it is a slow process and that in itself is so frustrating. Just don't give up trying little bits.
I just saw my psychologist and spoke to him about my 'psychosomatic' pain / white coat syndrome - anxiety causing physical real pain. Was a hard session. I need to think about what he said. Sort it out in my mind. Then I'll post it on the forum. I'll tag you to it. It may help.
Try and be gentle with yourself today.
Thinking of you.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor24 May 2018, 7:53 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member
I'm struggling
I'm having suicidal ideations
I don't know what to do
I tried lifeline just now

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 8:06 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling tonight. I am going to send you an email

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 8:39 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Good that you are reaching out @BlueBay .... well done .... keep trying them Hon ....

❤️

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor24 May 2018, 8:50 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I'm going to bed - can't deal with all this tonight. It's all too much. Had a terribly triggering day.
Goodnight everyone. Xxx

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 9:02 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Goodnight @BlueBay ...... 💐💙🐚💕

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor25 May 2018, 7:43 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi everyone
Had a bad night. Kept waking up and reliving my session with psychologist. Then crying. Feeling very tired but have to go to work. I keep crying because of the trauma the little me feeling so lost. I spoke yesterday of having no friends at school being a loner. My therapist said it was most likely because of the sbuse I was too scared to get close to anyone.
I cried because I feel anger and such deep hurt.
I emailed my psychologist to let her know how I am. But haven't heard back.
I don't know if I can keep going with all of this. It's just too much snd too hard. Snd I'm scared.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor25 May 2018, 8:52 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay

While my life experience has been very different, I expect that this period of therapy where your wounds are brought out under treatment, just having someone hear what you went through, would be such an emotional and painful time ...... totally overwhelming in the moment ....,

It is probably what happens after each session that is just as important. As @Former-Member said, the nutrition, sleep, and other formsof supporting your physical body are all part of getting through this, and as @Zoe7 said, so much of your energy is used up in even thinking about it all, the tears, the physical pain, that you need energy to cope with it all.

Not eating and drinking enough, and sleeping enough, might make the pain and distress worse if your body is also struggling for the energy it needs to be able to cope.

My body is having trouble getting rid of a sinus infection, so I have stopped all deliberate exercise to try to rest up and help the new antibiotics to work ...... that is what I mean ..... and you have a lot of emotional healing to do ..... you will need energy for that, and rest.

Hearing you @BlueBay ...... hearing your pain and distress, but hearing your courage too ....... it’s a very brave thing to embrace what is hurting us to be able to heal it.

❤️

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