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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 10:09 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Morning @BlueBay .....

Here’s an image I hope will help you. If you have a fault with the electric cabling in a room and the light bulb keeps blowing, changing the light bulb is not going to fix it ...... you need an electrician because the problem is hidden under the surface where it is not easily seen or understood by people who are not electricians.

Your “electrician” is your psychologist. Your doctor is the one who changes your lightbulb. The issue is showing up through the lightbulb, but it is the electrical circuit that is feeding it that needs repair ......

Our emotional system is like an electrical current that runs through our physical body, and when there is illness in the emotional currents, it hurts the physical body too. You can keep putting bandaids on the physical body where it hurts, but to get to the real cause of the problem, you have to go into the emotional “wiring” and sort it out.

Does that make sense ? The physical pain is like a lightbulb blowing again and again ..... and a lightbulb is real ...... and the pain is just as real.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor24 May 2018, 11:00 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Had the worst psychologist session regarding my childhood trauma. Sobbing trying to tell my inner child it was ok I love her and thst it wasn't her fault. I was screaming at the abusers and sobbing. I was angry at my mum for not protecting me not loving me when it happened. I am a mess
Wish I could run away forever and forget all this stuff. It's getting too much.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor24 May 2018, 11:24 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

it is time for self-care noe BB - do the things that help you to look after yourself. Sessions like that are super hard and so is the time afterwards - that is why self-care needs to be your priority right now @BlueBay. Eating a little and drinking some water is also a priority - you need to replace the energy you lose from such an intense session - that is really important also.

Sitting with you BB

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 11:25 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Good Morning All 🙂

@BlueBay @Faith-and-Hope I was just reading over your discussion here and wanted to pop in and say hi 🙂 I really like your analogy @Faith-and-Hope for @BlueBay. It's a very clear way of trying to look at mental illness and emotional support through a different lens.

@BlueBay I'm sorry to hear you had a tough appointment with your GP this morning. In saying that I can hear how much you trust your GP and the honesty you are both able to share with one another. I believe being as honest as we can with our treatment professionals is of great importance. They are only able to support us with what we are able to share. The other thing I wanted to highlight was the importance of looking after ourselves. For me personally looking after myself includes paying attention to my mental, emotional and physical needs. Within physical lies nutrition and trying to keep a balanced intake of food and drinks is helpful. I can hear you are hurting @BlueBay I really can. Please try and offer yourself some of the self care you are longing for. Is there something your inner child likes to do? Great to hear you are trying to comfort her with your words.

Take care BB.

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 11:34 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay - @Zoe7 is so right. Now is the time for self care. Be gentle with yourself.
I know you are struggling with this psychosomatic pain. Just as I was for the past few weeks. @Faith-and-Hope explanation was spot on. It mad it a lot clearer for me. Thanks.
Our real physical pain will start going away once we start dealing with our worries and learn how to reduce our stresses.
We can do it @BlueBay. We just need to learn the tools.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 11:35 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

❤️ @BlueBay ......

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor24 May 2018, 11:58 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member the emotions are intense the overwhelming feelings. I'm so hurting. My inner child is hurting she is hiding away. She is crying so much. She wants her mum but her mum abandoned her when she was sbused. She wants her dad but he's not there either. She's hurting. She wants to Sh because she's hurting.
@Faith-and-Hope self soothing is what I need.
@utopia I really I get through this. We can do this together.
@Zoe7 thanks for your love and reply
I just don't what to say anymore except I'm hurting. Xxx

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor24 May 2018, 12:02 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

We can see that you are hurting @BlueBay and that is why self-care is so important right now for you.

I need to take my little buddy to the vet for his check-up but will be back a little later.

I am always sitting on your shoulder BB - you got this - look after you and your inner child Hon

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 12:21 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I hear you @BlueBay, it hurts so very much.

I know you have a good bank of things to try and do to help suport yourself through these intense emotions, self care is a good thing to fall back onto.

Lots of support here for you @BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 1:48 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Can you try and be the mum that your inner child is crying out for? @BlueBay. Acknowledge her pain and then picture yourself now, wrapping your arms around that little girl. I think it may help

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