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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@Faith-and-Hope
But part of me feels like a scared little girl. I feel scared. I know he can't get me anymore but just the thought of him being there is bad enough. I told my boys today they didn't know. I wanted them to know. They were shocked. But they'll support me.
What would you do in my situation? I know you can't tell me what to do but how would you cope if you were at the party?

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

I would tell the people who needed to know to support me @BlueBay, which is what you have done ..... not your sister if she doesn’t know, because it would probably ruin her party, and what you don’t want is for what your brother did to keep inflicting harm on people ..... which it would be doing if it ruined her special day.

Your boys are adults now. It wouldn’t have been good for them to know this when they were children, because of all sorts of reasons that help to keep children safe while they are growing up, but since this repressed memory emerged for you in adulthood, it is affecting your boys as a part of your family, so better they learn the truth, and how to help support you through it.

They can hel to head your brother off if he were silly enough to try to talk to you, just by getting in his way, distracting him, staying close to you ..... being a body-guard team around you. It can also give them a sense of empowerment, that although they couldn’t rescue you from the pain and suffering you experienced as a little girl, they can do something to help you now.

Hugs n hugs @BlueBay ...... and try to distract yourself tonight so you’re not overthinking it, okay ?

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@Faith-and-Hope
My sister knows. She was the first person I told. She has been my support all along. But her husband doesn't know otherwise he would hurt him bad. He hates that kind of behaviour to a child.
My boys are very supportive and will be on the lookout tomorrow night.
I can't stop thinking about. I'm trying to distract myself but can't. If it's not the extra meds j was going to take today it's the party tomorrow. This has really affected me.
I know it's only a couple of hours and it will be all over. I should have asked my doctor for an anxiety tablet just in case to take with me.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Can you get an anxiety tablet tomorrow from somewhere @BlueBay ? Maybe the hospital you were recently discharged from, because they knew you had this party coming up and what it meant for you ..... ?

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Can you get an anxiety tablet tomorrow from somewhere @BlueBay, my husband did this when we were invited to my family outing

sending you hugs @BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

I am trying to contact my doctor tonight to see if he'll prescribe it for me. He knows the situation so hopefully he will.
@Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope thankyou for your love and support. Xxx

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

No problem @BlueBay .... all here for each other .... 💐💙🐚💕

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

My doctor won't prescribe the anxiety tablets as I've never been on them before and doesn't know how I'll react. Doesn't want me to drowsy at the party. He said try some deep breathing. He said he feels for me and will be thinking of me tomorrow night. I'm taking a sleeping med tonight to help me relax and sleep. Early night

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

That sounds like a good idea @BlueBay - deep breathing to help reduce your anxiety and an early night

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thsnks @Zoe7
I don't know how I'll be tomorrow before the party. My doctor is open till 2pm and said I can call him if I need to. He is fantastic doctor.
I need to keep busy and distract myself tomorrow before the party.
I'll let you know how I go.
Xxx
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