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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor15 Nov 2016, 9:06 pm AEDT

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor12 Apr 2018, 11:29 am AEST

Re: not feeling good

Everything is sounding like positive steps forward, except your mother @BlueBay .....

Picture her as a stick stuck in mud in your mind’s eye ..... one that is refusing all offers of a hand-up out of her mud-patch ..... and leave her there ..... you have got better things to do with your brain space than stand indefinitely by her self-made und-patch waiting for the old stick to decide she wants to get out of it now ..... and she probably never will. It’s her mud-patch and it’s where she prefers to be.

So glad you are taking the steps to wash life-mud off you .....

💙👍

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor12 Apr 2018, 12:15 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay. Good idea to have an honest talk with your sister.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

AppleblossomSenior Contributor12 Apr 2018, 3:47 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

It is great that you have support with strategies for the party. Yes find time to tell your sister how much you want to be there for her, and your fears and concerns. Let her know you are working out an apparoach so that it turns out best. Dont pay tooo much heed to your mother atm. Be businesslike. Things have come a long way since a couple of years ago.

Take Care

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor12 Apr 2018, 8:22 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @utopia @Shaz51 and others
I'm been a sobbing mess. Crying sobbing mess tonight. I had an honest chat with a male nurse who I get along with quite well. I told him everything - our finances issues, my pressure of looking for work , my sisters party, my hours cut back from work, and me crying every night in bed. He asked if hubby knew. I said no. I said if he walked in now and saw me like this he would be shocked. He turned around and said well maybe it's time he sees you like this. Me hiding everything is having a toll on me and our relationship. He also suggested counselling for both of us but I told it we just can't afford it.
He said he would write all this in my folder for my psych to read tomorrow. I told him I didn't care because I was never going to get better. He disagreed and said yes I would get better it's just I can't see it at the moment.
Supposed to leave next Tuesday. Now I'm worried.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

AppleblossomSenior Contributor12 Apr 2018, 8:34 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Sounds like the nurse cared. @BlueBay Yes your hub needs to know the real person and your struggles. The cost of counselling may be tough .. but if he decides to go I am sure he can put aside luxuries til you get on to the same page a bit more ...

... You do need to feed some of the awareness from strategies in hospital ...

into your life away from hospital.

You are stronger than you realise. I hope hub agrees ...

Take Care BB

In response to: not feeling good

utopiaSenior Contributor12 Apr 2018, 8:53 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

I agree with what @Appleblossom has said @BlueBay. You do need to tell your husband. He needs to be there to help support you at your lowest.
Keep listening to what the staff say.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Apr 2018, 7:21 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Feeling really down tonight. Been crying this afternoon. Talking to a nurse told her I struggle making decisions and being open and honest with hubby. She said it will take time but I need to work on being assertive.
I can't do that I don't even know how to
I told my psych I feel ill never get better. He said I've improved since last yr but I just don't see it

Last night I wanted to run away. I was crying so much. It was dark and I felt so alone and I thought I could easily run downstairs and no one would know until I left.
Haven't told anyone about that.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Shaz51Senior Contributor13 Apr 2018, 7:30 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

sitting with you my @BlueBay and giving you hugs

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember13 Apr 2018, 7:35 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi @BlueBay,

I'm sorry you are struggling so much at the moment and feeling like you just want to run away. When things are so tough, it is understandable that we want to escape it all. Additionally, it can be hard to be honest and open about everything, even with your partner, when you have absolutely no idea of where to start.

If you feel it would be helpful, please feel free to reach out to the SANE Help centre via chat or phone. We would be more than happy to have a chat with you about everything.

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor13 Apr 2018, 7:47 pm AEST

Re: not feeling good

Hi Amour_Et_Psyche'
I'm in hospital. Feeling teary. I prob shld speak to a nurse. I did speak to a nurse today but don't want to bother them agsin.

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