not feeling good

Still holding you hand @BlueBay

and falling asleep xx good night

Morning @utopia @Shaz51

Thank you for last night, holding my hand, sitting with me at the beach having ice cream and playing with Jersey.

I did manage to sleep, woke up at 3am coughing took my puffer and went back to sleep, awake again at 5.30am coughing.

I am going to work today so that will be a distraction.

I will come back on here tonight. Hope you both have a nice day.

And @utopia all the best for your job today

@BlueBay

I'm sorry I wasnt there last night - I'm so proud of you though giving that letter to him - he sounds like such a jerk!

Look I sought of understand what @utopia has agreed with, I get that all the time by my partner that he gets told everything I do is by choice. Yes that makes me angry but trying to look at it at another perspective, our brains have been conditioned and trained to react a certain way from all our childhood crap. Now by our age it has become "knee jerk"reactions so we we think we dont have control but the choice is we can help train our brains to be reconditioned and learn strategies to overcome those meltdowns. Maybe all this xmas stuff has got to you with your mother and you are expressing the stress or it could be the meds. I used to scream and have conversations with my partner apparently and then the next morning I would not remember a thing.

Like I said he is a service provider and if you are not happy and unable to communicate to him then you have to think if you should change pyschs. Like you said they are just there for support and guidance but unfortunately we are the only ones who can really change things and its damn hard work as we know and not as easy as they think but we have to keep fighting that uphill battle - what other choice do we have?

I hope you feel better this morning its awful when you just feel so angry and it doesnt subside - be nice to yourself today.

Thinking of you

Hello @BlueBay, glad you got some sleep last night xx

Wondered how you went today @utopia

Hi @BlueBay

I am sorry I haven't been on-line - I am just having my own bad spell between the dates of my parents' deaths - at least I think that's what it is - I don't have any energy and I don't have any appetite but apart from that and feeling down I am not falling apart or anything

You are not like a little kid because you gave your psyche a letter - I am not sure about that guy but whether he is right or wrong it doesn't seem to be helping much - but then I have always felt that psychologists have been more helpful to me

About controlling yourself when you are going through a plus 10 terrifying spell of whatever is happening - I have been there when my son was alive - and after for a short time - I had a bad day breaking my good china etc - but obviously I had myself under some kind of control because I didn't hurt myself or anything - I think I was so angry that my son had died and my shoulder had been so badly injured I needed surgery - I just lost the plot and my temper - but yes

There must have been some control happening somewhere - and as you only went to a certain point and no further - there is some kind of control - something that you know about - you don't want to hurt yourself or worse - so I think that's what your psyche was talking about

But when I was a child and totally lost my temper - wow - I was out of control and I was just too little and ignorant about what else to do - but I did hit attack my mother - so when you are a child - there are not limits - but as adults - we know there are - otherwise things would be very different

Anyway - not even your mother knows why she has to be that way and your grief is perfectly understandable - I had nightmares a few nights back - I was yelling at someone - I forget who - and trying uselessly to explain myself - I couldn't - and what a bad night

About your cough - if this goes on much longer ask to see an ENT - there may be a physical reason for your cough - and it's better to get it checked because believe it or not - sometimes a cough can cause a cough

Sorry I have been off-line - I only come here when I can give my best and I am okay tonight - but very flat all day

Hugs - Dec

Good morning @utopia xx

have a good day today at work today

feeling a bit out of sorts this morning , will talk about it later in

Re: Anyone feel like chatting? Coffee/Tea ☕💕