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not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@TAB@Phoenix_Rising@Zoe7

I decided to call my own doctor this morning and have a chat about what happened on sat. He knew what had happened and read my message I sent him. He told me it was ok he understood my anger and that he was sorry I felt so bad. But he said the boundary was there for a reason fir me to get better. He believes I will get better. He said I can call him anytime. I told him I understand the contract and boundary it was when I got so angry I went really bad and don't care about the boundary. He kept telling me it was okay that i sent the msg but he didn't reply because that was part of the contract. he was giving me 'tough love' approach.

i told him that i sufferred bad on saturday and had self harmed and wanted to 'get back' at them for abandoning me and rejecting me on saturday. i told him it was very embarassing to be told by the other doctor in front of the receptionist because they heard everything and all i could do was turn around and walk out.

My GP is fantastic in that he allows me to call him any time and he always calls me back if he can't talk to me at the time.

i have a lot to lkearn about boundaries and control.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hopefully the receptionist is a lovely caring person too @BlueBay, and felt for you in the circumstances.

When children are small, their self-discipline grows out of the external discipline expectations and “contracts” we create with them. When we have major upsets and illnesses in life, boundaries need to be re-applied ..... sometimes by friends and family, and / or medical people.

We have had to re-establish family boundaries with mr.f&h ...... and S2 is in the process of re-establishing his personal boundaries (still hi-it and miss). Mr.f&h is going to have huge struggles with re-establishing his personal boundaries somewhere in the future, I hope for his sake sooner rather than later ...... and I have had to pick myself up and sort mine out too .....

Try not to take it to heart @BlueBay ...... it’s “different strokes for different folks” and it’s hard ..... but there is often overlap with other people’s experiences, which is how come we’re all here on the forums .....

Just keep persevering towards that wellness that your doctor is believing in for you, and we are believing in for you, while you are struggling towards it. And remember that wellness looks different for different people.

Hugs Hon ..... 💙🐚💕

In response to: Re: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

thank you so much @Faith-and-Hope

and i wish you all the best with your family issues too

hugs to you too

BB xxxooo

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Thank you @BlueBay ....., 💕

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Just came back from psychologist. Triggering past childhood sexual abuse. I don't know if I can do this. I'm hurting so much. I'm crying it's too painful. The emotions are everywhere. I left her rooms upset but got worse once I got home.
Not good at the moment.

In response to: not feeling good

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hearing you @BlueBay ..... sitting with you.

💙

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Bubbles3Senior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

Hope your ook @BlueBay

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

I just want to die end all this crap
I so hate my mum.

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Unknown userMember

Re: not feeling good

I'm really sorry to hear how you're feeling today @BlueBay. Psychologist appointments can often bring up a lot of painful emotions and memories.

Do you think it would help to contact a support service for some one-to-one support? You are welcome to keep posting here.

In response to: not feeling good

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: not feeling good

@Former-Member I'll just stay here. Can't use phone services family are here atm.
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