not feeling good

And as @TAB said - tomorrow is another day and we just need to get there to start again. Stay safe @BlueBay ...and I will sit on your shoulder to help you out

Hi @BlueBay,

It sounds like you have been super struggling today. I'm wondering if you have any thoughts about what you could do to dump the anger, as it seems to be consuming you at the moment? Anger is energy. If you can find a way to dump the energy it can help to calm your body which in turn can calm your mind.

@BlueBay as I said, anger (and other emotions too) are energy. If you dump the energy, you will physically be calmer. Being emotionally dysregulated takes a lot of energy. If you dump that energy in another way, then your body physically won't be able to continue expressing the emotional distress.

For example, when I had big angry feelings in a session the other week and managed to break one of TTT's cool toys by hitting it on the couch, she got me to plank for one minute. I still had my big angry feelings while I was planking, but by the time the minute was up, I collapsed in a heap on the floor and simply didn't have the energy to keep raging. It helped me to feel super calm.

Emotions are energy. Use up the energy, and the emotions will settle.

Can you play some gentle music @BlueBay ?

Going for a hot shower might help to drain the energy too @BlueBay. It was something my Mum used to tell me to do when I could’t settle. It was something to do with the steam ..... and the hot water releasing tension from muscles .... and feeling clean .... and if you take a washer and scrub yourself you will be burning up that angry energy .....

hi @Faith-and-Hope@Phoenix_Rising@TAB@Zoe7@candycane @Dogman

i managed to fall to sleep and slept all night. apparently i was snoring and hubby kept tapping me to shut up. i am still angry about yesterday but the intensity is a bit less.

today i have a bridal shower to go to with my daughter. it is my nephew's fiance's . they are getting married in a month's time. at least i will catch up with my sister today which will be nice. i am waiting now for my daughter to pick me up.

i actually feel exhausted, i think from yesterday.

i did something wrong which i didn't tell you guys yesterday. as part of the 'contract' that my doctor wrote and we both signed he didn't want me to write to him via messenger.

well i did yesterday. in my fit of rage i messaged him. because this is what happened yestgerday morning.

i had to drop of a stool sample to get tested and my doctor wasn't in but the other doctor was. so i asked the receptionist if i could see him as i was feeling dizzy. he came out to the front counter and in front of the girls he said 'do yoiu remember the contract you signed well i can't see you but if you want you can go home and ring me and i will speak to you'. WTF. i was so angry, embarassed and hurt, i was almost in tears because i felt abandoned by this doctor. i told him i hated this contract it was dumb. so i walked out. i got in the car and cried. feeling rejected. i got a phoned from work and was told i had to work (i forgot i had a shfit) so when i had a break at 11.30 i rang the doctor to be told by receptionist that he was busy and to call back at 12.15pm (they close at 12) as he would be running over time and he will speak to me then. i then called back and they had the answering machine on and closed for the weekend.

So that's where my anger came in yesterday. And i am still pretty angry today. i feel that they have blocked me and don't want to help me; they have stopped me from contacting them. i feel so alone and abandoned by them.