not feeling good

Great news for you today @BlueBay - well done on taking control of the situation and doing something about it - soooo proud of my little yellow flower

Hi @Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@utopia@Former-Member

I saw my GP this morning and I ended up crying, why? Because he set up a boundary for me and I don't like it. He told me that he wants to see me every fortnight and no earlier. He said he knows tht i can do that because he knows that i am strong, even though i don't feel strong. He told me i can call him anytime and if i am not well he will decide if i should come in and see him or go to hospital. He typed up a contract letter and we both signed it. He said that most of the time i am okay after i speak to him and he helps me calm down.

After he told me this i broke down and cried. i told him he must hate me and that he is abandoning me and rejected me. I said that he and the other doctor must hate seeing me. He replied 'no they both dont hate me and the don't mind seeing me it's just that i was going too often and now they want to see if i can hold on for two week sand see him fortnightly.

He told me it's my illness that is saying all this in my head. It's not really me. He told me he feels sorry for me because my illness takes over quite a bit and i need to learn that it's not my illness i am a good person. i just need to believe in myself.

I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon and told him about last weeks hospital visit and what had happened. He said it would be good if i can get a case manager and then do the DBT program through the hospital. He said he will call the mental health clinician and speak with them and insist as much as he can that i need their help. Fingers crossed.

Also my psych is going to refer me to an endocrinologist and a Professor who deals with menopause, hormones and thyroid (all my issues). Apparently she is well known and very very good in her work.Lets hope she can help me.

I have decided today to start a diet, just bought some Optifast and going to have 2 shakes a day. i need to lose about 15kg (thanks to my meds) and hoping I can achieve this. my GP didn't want me to worry about this at the moment but i want to start now.

i hope everyone is doing okay, i often think of you guys but forget to ask. By the way - applied for 2 more jobs.

BB xxxooo

Hi @BlueBay

Sorry to read that you have had a tough day. It is good that your psychiatrist is referring you onto an endocrinologist to treat any imbalance with hormones and thyroid. I did the same and am still under going treatment for both. They causes quite severe anxiety and depression in me. So you may find some relief there if your treating professionals diagnosis same. Could help you a lot. I remember when going through menopause crying everyday and feeling overwhelmed - finding it difficult to cope with anything then.

Good luck with your diet - I too am trying to stay on one. Have broken it on the odd ocassion 😚But it's like falling off a horse - I get back onto it. And all the best with applying for your two jobs. I have everything crossed.

OMG @Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@Zoe7@Former-Member

I just emailed that psychologist who refused to see me unless i paid first on Monday. I wrote a long email stating how terrible her actions were and how i felt very angry. i told her how vulnerable i was and that she had no empathy towarads my situation. i told her that i have no money and using money vouchers and food from a community centre.

i am now scared that she will reply with something bad back.

i told her that her business is bad becasue psychologists should have empathy and it was disgusting how i was treated. OMG i am scared - but its all true what i wrote.

and it was exactly how i felt.

oh well its down now. i have writtenn it.

let's see what she writes back

I am sure it will be okay @BlueBay. Dont be scared. Maybe do something that you enjoy to relax or some activity to distract you may help. Sitting with you 😊

Hi @BlueBay

How are you? Hope you are feeling better today. Thinking of you 😊