not feeling good

we are here for you my awesome friend , sitting next to you giving you hugs

negative self-talk taking over again @BlueBay

you will not disappear forever and never come back - for one I am sitting on your shoulder and that would mean I would never come back lol and 2. you would miss us too much - so stop that silly talk and tell us what is confusing you the most tonight - ramble away if you need and we will try to make sense of it all for you - ok my beautiful little yellow flower...

....and while you are doing that we are all sitting on the beach with our puppies playing together

tell us what is confusing you the most tonight @BlueBay

@BlueBay thought this would go down well for you tonight ...

@Shaz51@Zoe7@Former-Member

if i come with you all can Jersey play with your dogs and I will try to sleep. I just want to sleep and hear the waves of the water. But i need you guys to protect me from the bad people.

the bad people - the people who abused me when i was little.

confusion in my head @Zoe7 - it's like my head is a spider web all tangled up. with everything that i am stressing about - going into hospital, my daughtger having her baby, why my psych hasn't called me to admit me into hosptial, me not being well enough to look after myself; i am going on and on and on.

It's all overwhelming.

I think i will go to bed, i am crying right now; don't even know why.

yes i do - i am not coping, i am so vulnerable tonight.

i miss my dad that is what is confusing, i love him so much and i am missing him. there i wrote it down - I MISS MY DAD - now i am crying even more

Thankyou for sharing @BlueBay

now come and join us on the beach with Jersey to play with our dogs and we can all sleep. and hear the waves of the water.

You can sleep and we WILL protect you BB.

I understand that spider-web - you don't know where one memory, feeling, thought starts and where it ends - and what is connected in with, alongside and through all of it - it is very confusing and feels VERY overwhelming @BlueBay

You do have alot going on and it has been a long wait for hospital - but you are still getting through each day, you are still working, you are still reaching out for support and you are still 'talking' - and despite what you are feeling - I am very proud of your strength, courage and persistence - even when you can't see it - I will continue to tell you how amazing I think you are my beautiful little yellow flower.

I need my sleep i am going to go and get some sleep (if I can)

i am too exhausted to do anything else tonight

@Former-Member are you still here?

i will go to bed and cry myself to sleep

@Zoe7 @Shaz51 thank you lovelies - you both have helped me tonight

i am still scared of my thoughts, my childhood thoughts and dreams

if i don't sleep i will be back on here

BB xxxooo

I'll stay on your shoulder and give you butterfly kisses to help you sleep - and if you don't then we'll be right here for you if you need us @BlueBay.

Love and Hugs BB - hope you can sleep

Sorry everyone, I am still here!!

I do have a dog @Shaz51...she's a maltese shitzu and would love a run on the beach

Yum @Zoe7!! Can I have some ice cream too? I love Baileys

I sent you an email @BlueBay...I'm not sure if you got it or not?