not feeling good

@NikNik@Phoenix_Rising@Former-Member@Shaz51@Owlunar@Owlunar@Zoe7@utopia

I will let you know @NikNik and everyone else how i go tomorrow. I am nervous and not thinking properly, very negative tonight. Sorry to worry you all. i think i will hit the sack and try to sleep.

chat tomorrow

@BlueBay It is good to hear you are doing what you need to do tonight and that is to go to bed and to try to sleep . I am hoping your hospital admission helps you and gives you peace of mind.

Hi @BlueBay

Wanted to let you know that I am so proud of you for reaching out as you have done this week - both on the forum and with the new GP and psych.

I am so pleased for you that you have been listened to and action has been taken to get you some help. You are finally going into hospital to get some respite from the torment of each day - this can be both a time of retreat and release for you. Allow yourself the space to rest and to also let others look after you. You so deserve all the support, caring and love that this world can give you.

I will be sitting on your shoulder the whole time so you will never be alone and you will always know that someone is with you. All your friends here wish you only the very best - we are all on this journey alongside you - no matter what it brings. You are loved, adored and very much part of this amazing forum family - the strength of any community is how it holds all the individual parts together - and the strength of this community is that we all rally around those in need and hold them in the light when they can't see it for themselves. So this is the time for you to be held in the light until you can see and feel it for yourself my friend.

...always sitting on your shoulder...

...and sending you all the love and support I have at this time...

Zoe xxx

Dear @Zoe7 my beautiful butterfly friend

you have been by my side since I have struggled so much and even though I know you are also struggling, you still have time for me. That means so much to me to have you along side

I can't express how much thanks and love I have for you and everyone else on here. It's too hard to write how much you all mean to me because right now i am crying. i don't know why i get so emotional when i want to write something special.

After seeing my new GP last week I realised that i do need help again, i do need to 'break the circuit' spinning out of control. And i know that once i come out i will be okay, i just hope that the new meds will work. having a new psych while in hospiotal will be good but i am also scared of bumping into my regular psych as he visits the same hosptial. and what he will think.

To top of my emotional rollercoaster I woke up this mornign with my period !!! Great, i think there is also a pattern there where I am out of control, in my mind and body at this particular time of the month. I know I am per-menopausal. Must mention this to my psych.

I know all the staff at this hospital, the ward is lovely and cosy. Small but everyone knows all the staff and the staff spend time with the patients. Because i have been a few times now i don't feel scared of the staf; it's just i feel anxious about the people there. i will be in a shared room to start off with but as soon as private rooms are available i will get moved. All rooms are private bar this one which has 4 beds in it; a private shower and bathroom. So that's okay, i don't mind, i usually draw the curtain right around and hibernate in my room the first day.

@utopia looking forward to chatting to you soon. @oceangirl @Former-Member @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope (and anyone else I have forgotten) thank you guys for your love and support.

@NikNik when are you back on next? I would like to let you know how I am going.

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@BlueBay wrote:

To top of my emotional rollercoaster I woke up this mornign with my period !!! Great, i think there is also a pattern there where I am out of control, in my mind and body at this particular time of the month. I know I am per-menopausal. Must mention this to my psych.

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Hi @BlueBay,

I woke up this morning with my period too. I agree that this is an important issue to mention to your psych. I figured out a few years ago that my big feelings tend to be bigger in the few days before my period is due. Consequently, I now mark the due date on the calender so that it reminds me that this might be the issue sometimes when I am super struggling. Sometimes when I am super struggling with suicidal ideation around this time of the month I tell myself that I have survived so much, I absolutely refuse to suicide simply because of some hormonal issues that will settle within a few days.

I am so glad your hospital admission day has arrived. I trust you will get what you need from your hospital stay.