not feeling good

Yes @utopia she is showing !!!! 🙂

She has this bump now that you can see, it's so exciting.

Hi @BlueBay

Your headache and BP don't sound at all good - I am glad you could sit by the water and I hope that will work some magic on you - you need some kind of peace that isn't easy for you to get atm - and I really care about that

I had my dd, gd and sil come here for hot cross buns this morning - this is good - for a long time dd was remote - she was seeing too much of TS I think - and I have the feeling she is not now - it's amazing how things changed since my aunt died and my sister didn't tell me but dd told me and I went to the funeral and TS gave me that filthy look

You know - things do change - we need to have faith in something - I waited for years for dd to see through TS ands finally it seems she has - and I wish a similar change in life for yourself - maybe it will happen when your sons move out and you are in your new house with the new baby coming - and all of this will fill up your life

I had a nightmare this morning - I got up and let the cat out - and took my medication and went back to sleep - DARN - my lounge looked really untidy - and I had flap around and get ready in a hurry - but that nightmare - horrible - it was about TS inferring - she does interfer - enough in real life - I don't need this to happen in my dreams

I hope your Easter is peaceful for you at least - take things easy and get what rest you can

How long before you move? You don't have to pack ll at once - a bit here and a bit there works for me and I have moved so often

So I am okay today - let's hope I can have a reasonable Easter - I got some novels at the newsagent yesterday and some chockie eggs - this is a good start

Dec

Still have my headache, tried to have an afternoon nap but not much. it's prob my blood pressure that is causing the headache and all the tension and stress.

Do this is making me really down but i am having SH thoughts. can't stop these thoughts. and i am scared to tell myh GP tomorrow if he asks me again that i still do

I am scared @utopia because I have a feeling he may even admit me again and if I don't do it voluntary he will.

Last night all i could hear in my head was my mum yelling at me and telling me how bad i am and how i have betrayed the family. When i was in his rooms last night i was really bad hearing voices but i couldn't tell him that bit.

haven't packed any boxes today; i can't begin; i know i need to but i just can't.

thanks for being here for me. i am so scared at times. and i have been feeling sick comes in waves. could be my headache.

I'm with @utopia on this one @BlueBay - you seem to have more trust in this GP already so tell him everything! If you explain where your feelings come from, how they affect you and what usually happens afterwards - and he listens - then you may be able to get the support that you haven't had yet. Ask him about talking to your psychiatrist too - if he can do this for you then you may just have found the right GP for you.

...still sitting on your shoulder...

Zoe

Hi @Zoe7 @utopia

I feel as if this new GP understood me very clearly last night. Even though I like my regular GP I am finding that he is too 'relaxed' with my issues. His answer to everything is 'oh it's just stress'. And I was getting to the point of now thinking 'damn why can't you just listen to me'. And each time i would cry so much in his rooms and say i wanted to go to hospital he would turn around and say 'well that's up to yoiur psych'.

But after last night, I don't think it is all entirely up to my psych. If a GP is concerned that I think they should be able to admit you as well and refer you to a psych.

Actually last night I think he did call a psych that I have seen before. But in my state I forgot to ask him, I will tomorrow.

I kept saying to the GP last night 'i will go home, i will be okay, i don't need to go to hosptial' He turned around and said 'well i am concerned for you, you need help right now'. I hope he doesn't get angry with me when i tell him i didn't stay. I am scared he will be angry.