not feeling good

@BlueBay

@utopia

Hi @BlueBay

I hope you can get something sorted with the private hospital. Look after yourself and make sure you get something to eat. Take it easy

Hi @oceangirl @Zoe7 @utopia @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member

I'm still here at home. Slept okay once i got into bed. awake at 5am thinking about the whole thing last night. i really don't know what happened. i went in to see this new GP about my high BP and the next thing i am in am ambulance going to hospital for my mental health issues!!!! How did that happen???

Do you know, this new GP is the first GP ever to take action. He was very concerned, he was sympathetic and supportive. He listened and he acted. The GP who i have seen for the past 6 yrs has never taken any action like this. And he always says to me 'oh it;s just stress'. you see that's what shits me so much, because i know i am stsressed, i know i suffer depression, ansxiety, SH thoughts and sometimes suicide thoughts. he knows all my past abuse and struggles and stress i have at the moment - and he still says 'oh it's just stress'.

This new GP wants to do more tests reg. my headaches especially where i had that lump on my head. I feel no one ever took me serious enough but now I feel this guy does.

I cannot remember what we spoke about last night in his rooms, can't remember the questions he asked me. i was in my 'own little world' dazed out into zombie land. i just could not respond.

i will go tomorrow mornign to see him. i feel i need to apologise to him because i left the hospital without being seen. i guess i will talk to him a bit more just so hje knows about my history. i kept telling him about my childhood abuse and he kept saying 'oh i am so sorry'.

i am worried now because my normal GP is away for 6 weeks holiday so i will prob see this new guy. but i am hoping that he calls my psychiatrist and speaks to him to tell him how i was last night. this may be the only way my psych will listen. and hope they admit me for a week or two. but then that means less packing, less work again. hubby and i are going away middle may so maybe i should just hang in there until then. Oh i don't know, i am so confused this morning, so stressed.

Two of my kids are home this morning, my son has gone off with the fire brigade to collect money in our town for good friday appeal.

i dont' know if i can pack any boxes today, i don't have any energy. i just want to speak to someone today, i wish my GP was open today.

I don't know anymore, i am scared, alone and feel that everything is getting to me. Actually i sort of knew this was coming as it has been a build up for a while. i am so scared of 'breaking down' once we move, as there is so much still to do.

hubby working today, maybe we can do a box tonight. i don't know. i don't know anything amymore, i've been left feeling very hopeless, helpless and dark. 😞 😞

Hi @BlueBay I'm around for a while if you want to chat. Don't worry about packing anything today - that is the least of your concerns for now. This GP sounds great - finally someone that not only listens but can help and support you. That sounds really positive and you sound really comfortable with him - that is a giant step forward.

...sitting on your shoulder... and listening my friend...

Zoe

Hey @Zoe7

Thank you my friend

I don't feel much today, a bit numb with thoughts. i will try to go for a walk this morning. Still have a headache.

I just need to get through today, just this mroning then this afternoon, then tonight.

just need to get through - but i am not sure i can.

Hi @Former-Member yeah, i think this new GP is very understanding of mental health, he told me he wokred in the hospital where i went last night. he worked there for 5 years and he knows the psych ward is not like it used to be. But i told him i was still scared of going there.

anyway, i didn't - so i will hopefully see him tomorrow morning.

You can do it my beautiful little yellow flower

I will sit on your shoulder all day and we'll get through minute by minute and hour by hour @BlueBay

I still have a headache too so we can 'suffer' together lol

A walk sounds great - I want to take Toby to the beach but I am worried about driving so I might need to wait a few more days!! SO you better go for a walk and tell me all about it so I can imagine I have been also!!

Zoe

@utopia

how are you? i am sorry I always forget to ask about you, i feel terrible.

The CAT team clinician called me before and I told them i couldn't stay last night as I was becoming very anxious and decided to go home. She was calling to check i was okay. she asked what i was doing over the long weekend and i said not much, just packing boxes. I told her i am seeing my new GP tomorrow morning and she suggested I also contact my psych on tuesday. But i think i may ask this new doctor if he can call my psych and talk to him as i feel he may listen to him more than me atm.

I managed to go to the beach for a walk with my D and her partner and we took Jersey as well. Just sitting on the ledge was nice, the sun is out and the water is calm. Pity my mind isn't as calm as the water.

myu headache is not good, i am trying to not do much but i have vac the house and mopped the kitchen floor.

hubby is at work today, he doesnt' get a day off. kids are home.

i may try to knit, but i think atm i may go and lay down.

Hi @Owlunar how are you going?

BB xxxooo