not feeling good

💙🐚 @BlueBay ....

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @utopia @Former-Member @NotLabelDefined @NikNik

Last night wasn't good. I was reaching for a SH item, grabbed it but just stood there. I started to cry and then I went online to chat with Lifeline. I told them what I had done and they were very supportive.

But this morning I woke up feeling very exhausted, i was tossing and turning a lot last night. My stupid neighbour had all his lights on inside and outside which reflected into our bedroom. And then he was outside at some stupid hour of the morning coughing his head off. 😞 so annoying.

I feel really flat today. Knowing that i have to go to work today and deal with people is the last thing i want to do today. I have no choice.

I know i have a safety plan which @NikNik helped me with but you know i didn't even think of that at the time. Looking back now I prob should have gone for the safety plan before chatting to Lifeline.

I don't know I am so confused. And tired.

Hugs @BlueBay .....

Well done, calling Lifeline when you did ...

I'm feeling flat this morning too. Hoping a long walk will pick me up a bit, but it will be good for me anyway.

Take care 💙🐬

I was just thinking I have a lot of black and white thinking and don't know how to change it. This may sound really stupid but this is my thinking process.

If i am happy to be a grandma and I am, i cannot wait - then why i am feeling like SH; why am i feeling so depressed, down, flat and emotional.

See my thinking says to me that because i feel happy with this baby then i SHOULDN'T be down, depressed, emotional.

It is one or the other. And i think this is where i am fighting with myself internally all the time.

It is so frustrating. Does this make sense to anyone? If not it doesn't matter.

@Faith-and-Hope I hope your mood picks up during the day. And I hope you get to go on your walk and you never know you may see something beautiful like the other day with the dolphins. Hugs to you xxoo

Thanks @BlueBay ..... 🤗

Not it only does what you write about your thinking processes make sense, it shows great personal insight as well ... identifying a problem for ourselves takes us half-way towards resolving it ..... it starts to make the strategies for changing it far more meaningful and within your own control, rather than being like a bandaid applied on the surface .... this is like getting stitches in there to help the wounds heal up properly ....

wtg @BlueBay .... ❣

Hi @BlueBay

You have a lot going on - I loved my job but there were days when I was just so glad I had reasons to leave the office and go around the complex as part of my work - and I found a little spot clear of any windows were I could just sit for 5 minutes

Can you find a way of having 5 minutes in the fresh air a couple of times a day - people go outside to smoke - why can't non-smokers take that time themselves if they need to?

That is a really good point actually

You have lots happening atm - take it easy and know we are here

Dec