Thank you so much for your love and support @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Maggie @Former-Member
It's been a difficult morning but i am ok now. What happened was that i phoned my mum to say we would like to come down for a coffee and see them. Bring little A to see them. She replies to me 'oh i have to check with your father' (mind you she never ever checks with my dad, as she makes all decisions). she comes back on the phone and says 'how many of you are coming' (she knows full well that it would just me me, D and A) she then says oh that's too many people in one house with the Covid virus. I was shocked and said 'don't worry about it' and she says 'yeah lets wait until its all over' - well my thinking was 'lets wait because i am not coming down anymore'.
i don't need her in my life right now, not sure if ever.
i got off the phone, ranted to my D and she said 'don't worry about her' - but the trouble is do worry, i get so bloddy angry. she makes no effort to see how i am, or to even say can we come down to your place and spend an afternoon with you. never. no point in continuing this conversation about her. she just rubs me up the wrong way - all the time.
My D and I with little A went down the street. Home now, A having her nap. once she wakes up we'll take her to the park and I'll get some food for dinner.
I get very angry and emotional when things go wrong. And this morning was one of them. Feeling of rejection and not wanted anymore is a horrible feeling.
But i am ok, i just need to work through these tough times. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow morning. I also made a call to refer myself back to my psychologist and i have an appt for August. About 6 weeks time, in the meantime i will use my doctor if need be.
You are all right - I have so much love for my own family and they give it back to me (well not so much hubby) but little A gives back so much love to me. It's so hard to explain unless you have grandchildren the love they give.
My older son has a new girlfriend and we met her a few weeks ago. she is so lovely, works as a nurse. She came over on Sunday night for dinner and stayed the night. I think they have been seeing each other fior a while before we knew. I'm really happy for my son, he is talking about moving out again and go back to the area he was last year.
so if he does move out again, D and A can move back into his room and things might start to look a little better.
work - i really don't know what's going on. No one has contacted me to see how I am. I did call in last week and gave a worker my medical certificate from the surgeon for time off. but i don't get sick leave as i am casual worker.
if they don't have work for me then i will be really stuck. the money we have is very quickly going and its scary.
