not feeling good

Hey @BlueBay - that's a crappy situation to be in, honestly. Job searching is basically universally stressful, and with how things are at the moment, it makes sense that it has all hit you really hard. I hope you are able to be gentle with yourself this evening. Here with you if you need any extra support

Thanks @Jynx

I'm an idiot. I really am. The whole time I thought I read the job closed next week. And now ,it's over done. Gone.
its incredibly hard to find work especially now with Covid.
I can't see any way out of our stressful financial situation. Except sell our hime. Which I'm not sure I really want to do

everything is such a mess in my life

all I can see is darkness right now

I'm just going to flick you a quick email @BlueBay

I'm sorry @Jynx @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Maggie @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Former-Member

im crying

im so over my last ten yrs

I think I'm realising that mental health, my depression anxiety and everything else has taken over my life

I'm so consumed with all this

realising that this is all I do - wirk in my mental health, my childhood abuse my parents etc

that's all I've done for ten yrs

what a waste of ten yrs

snd now where am I?? Still at the same spot 10 yrs ago

omg I really didn't want to realise this now

not tonight

😢😢😢

I told you @Jynx that I needed time off here tonight but I need support. I need to chst. Im

sorry.

It is okay, @BlueBay it's good that you realised you need some extra help tonight, and that you're reaching out. As always, if you feel that you are unsafe please call a crisis line to get some immediate support:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

SuicideLine: 1300 651 251

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

You don't deserve to be alone in this - we hear you, we see you, we are sitting with you

@Jynx I forgot to mention I chatted inline with lifeline but they didn't help much at all.
I tried Sane counsellors online chst but it's unavailable.
I think I'll go to bed.
I'm really sad for myself tonight

10 yrs of a horrible traumatic emotional life that I'll never get back😢

I know I need to think positive and fir a good future - but right now nothing feels good. Including even taking my meds.

thanks @Jynx for always supporting me.
Want to send you a warm hug 🤗❤️
Thsnks again 😢

Im here and sitting with you @BlueBay . Ive heard all that youve written tonight, and I feel how painful all of this is for you.

As far as missing the deadline for job app .. yeah that was unfortunate. But these things happen ... certainly you arent the first, and wont be the last. Its possible they may take late applications. Did the manager call back? If not, then try to accept that it was never meant to be. The timing is all wrong for you anyway BlueBay, with your op coming up.

Here to chat if you need @BlueBay

Sherry. 💖

Thsnks lovely @Former-Member

no the manager didn't call back.

reg the advertised job :

I worked at this TAFE 8 yrs ago. Student services.
job advertised is same department

casual (up to 20 hrs week) more hours at busy enrolment times

$32 an hour (more thsn bakery)

I know the job. Would just have to learn new updated computer program

I spoke to the manager (different manager to when I was there) and asked him a few questions. He was keen to hear that I had worked there previously.
And out of these casuals he is looking for permanent staff

oh well it's gone now

@Former-Member im nervous about the surgery

Yes its a shame about the missed opportunity @BlueBay . But no use worrying about it now. I would try again to contact the manager. Given its a long weekend, he may have had the day off today. Can you still submit your application anyway?

Fully understand your anxiety about Tuesdays carpal tunnel surgery. I dont think it would be normal if you werent nervous about it. But in reality it is a very common and straight forward procedure. It will all be over and done before you know it. There will be some minor discomfort plus some inconvenience afterwards. But after a week or two .. you wont know yourself.

Sherry

@BlueBay you are always welcome
Thanks for letting us know, and sorry to hear you couldn't get through - Friday nights can be pretty busy.
Don't be too hard on yourself, thinking positive is indeed helpful but it's also okay to not be okay sometimes - you're still reaching out and you're still trying and that's what matters.

I'm signing off for tonight, another mod will be around though of course. Take care, and I hope you get some rest.