not feeling good

Hi everyone @Molliex @outlander @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Shaz51 @MDT @Maggie and others reading

this morning we went to the cemetery. I didn't really want to go but my D and A came too. It's a long drive over an hour.
we then decided to go to the Fitzroy gardens in Melbourne. Omg littke A loves all the leaves. She ran around and kicked the leaves. She picked up a bunch sbd threw them up in the air. She was so excited. We walked around for a while and took some beautiful photos. going to blow a photo up. It's if littke A laying down on all the leaves and she's smiling. Oh I wish I could show you all.
Had lunch in the car in st Kilda beach and then drove home

it was a nice day. Cold but we were all rugged up.
My D snd I decided to go for a walk. We walked for an hour. Nice cold walk. Littke A was rugged up in the pram.
dinner time now snd guess what??
I'm not cooking. Boys are cooking steak and I'm having a piece of toast. My D will cook for her snd A. Something easy.

I did have back pain after work yesterday. I've got a shift tomorrow 12-5pm and Tuesday 8-12 and then sat 6-12.

cant wait to see surgeon. I just want it done now. The tingling is getting worse.

waiting for more elastic headbands to arrive this week. Then we will be very close to start advertising online. I'm leaving all social media stuff to my daughter. Exciting. Fingers crossed we sell some.

im even thinking if where to go next year on holidays. My D asked us if we would go eith her to the Gold Coast. She would like to take A to SeaWorld.
not sure if we go if we will drive or fly.
I would really love to drive snd stop wherever. Take 3-4 weeks snd travel. How nice would that be.
we will see. But also I'm going to book a few days away end of this year if allowed. Just hubby and me.

I need to start planning fir next holiday. To give me something to plan. If I wait for hubby I'll be waiting forever.

better stop typing can't feel my fingers

have a good night everyone ❤️❤️❤️

I'm over everything

I've fine something to my shoukder

has to be from wirk

I'm over it all

@outlander @Molliex @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Maggie and others

@BlueBay You sound in the wars. Pain in different places. It will be good to have some issues dealt with. I think you said Thursday, I might have that wrong.

Your day out sounded lovely. I had a pic in my mind of little A throwing leaves in the air. She’s a happy little soul.

Plans for a holiday at the end of the year sound good. I hope it works out for you.

Some rest might help your shoulder, and heat pack, in the now anyway.

Take care. 💙💙💙

Hi @BlueBay

I'm sorry about your shoulder - did you report this at work? If it's work-related that is the right thing to do

Have you ever read back on your thread? I have read bits and pieces of it and I have known you for over 4 years now. You can't see that you are strong but you have been battling all this time and you are still going - so what do you mean when you say you are "over it all"

You are going through another bad patch - when we hurt one part of our body other parts can get in the way and get hurt too - I know this very well myself but I want you to think because you do say the same things over and over again

EG - you want to run away and disappear - and I hear you - and nothing in your life can change until you make some decisions about your circumstances. And I am sympathetic about this - what would you like to happen?

I know your doctor says to go to work because it's good for your mental health and another doctor says you need to be on light duties so this does sound confusing. It does sound as if you are between a rock and a hard place and apart from venting which is okay - what would you like to happen?

I'm not telling you off - I am pointing out that there is something you want out of life that is not getting to you - something you can't seem to reach - and you need to make up your mind about things

No job is worth eroding your health - you said recently you would let your husband worry about the finances - and I am glad you didn't cook yesterday - you need a day off

But life really gets to you - doesn't it? I wish it was easier for you but this is the way it is and I really care about you or I wouldn't say all of this

Dec

@BlueBay I am sending you a nice hot bath, a hot water bottle, a lovely herbal tea, and some fluffy cushions to cuddle up into ...... what a sucky thing to happen ..... helping you invest in some self-care this evening Hon 💙💖💕

Thank you all for your support. I will reply tomorrow. I'm just too tired and sore. I've decided to take tomorrow off work. Now have week off.
@Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Maggie

Hi @Owlunar

I think when I say "i'm over it all" - i mean i want all this to stop. i want the mental illness to be so much better. When i say i want 'an escape' or 'run away' - i mean i want to run away in my head from all of this

I went to work yesterday and worked for 5 hours walking around the store and cleaned all the door handles. I was so bored, and my back was achey. I think what the boss should do is have two different jobs, not just one continuous job. I ended up cleaning the same things 4 times during my shift. So yesterday I walked for 6 hours including my 1 hr before work.

I do enjoy the bakery, i think because you have set tasks to get done, i know what to do now. And I do it. We get along. I don't find there is any bitchiness (so far), whereas with the shop girls there is so much bitchiness and clicky going on its terrible. some young staff just stand around and chat so often it makes me angry. even the young ones on the registers, when i clean the belt and bench area they don't even smile or say thankyou. yesterday wasn't a good day. and i tried to use my left hand as much as i could for cleaning as my shoulder was sore.

I'm not sure that i did do it at work, there was no specific time that i can remember.

Youre right no job is worth ruining my body. So after 5 hours of walking around the store like a bored worker i decided to ttake today off. i called them last night and told them i had an appt that i forgot to tell my boss.

My daughter and I decided to go for a drive at a bigger beach still close by and we walked for an hour. Little A platyed in the sand and it was beautiful and sunny. We bought a coffee and had it down there. Home now, little A fell asleep in the car. She loves being free to walk or run around. She was making us laugh because she was galloping around on the walking track. so funny 🙂

Do i feel guilty for taking the day off - hell no!!! I sat at the beach and thought no this was a good idea, i need it.

Not back at work until saturday in bakery but it depends on what the surgeon says on thursday. and next week i have no shifts in the store. I am stressing because the money isn't coming in. I'm trying to not let this worry me.

Last night my daughter cooked dinner which was nice to come home from work and dinner ready. Today i will cook something but it will be something easy.

How are you @Owlunar with your fall? and your shoulder? It's such a beautiful day down here that i am going to enjoy the sun as much as possible. i think the next few days will be nice.

tomorrow my D and I are going to go on another 'adventure walk' with little A, somewhere different down my way. we have lots of walking tracks it fantastic. And A loves them, she loves to explore.

I better go and clean up a little. Take care and i will chat later on today.

Hi to @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @outlander @Molliex @Former-Member @Shaz51 @MDT

I feel like I'm never going to lose my weight. I stress that I'll be like this forever. I hate my body so much.
@Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Maggie @Molliex @Shaz51 @Former-Member and others

@BlueBay 👂👀😔💖