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not feeling good

not feeling good

At the moment i am not feeling good. i feel like my body is in 'run away mode'. i feel my body is running on a high, my head is so mixed up. i have to go to bed and try to sleep, but don't know if i can.

my hormones are everywhere at the moment; my mood is sky high negative. i can't deal with this anymre. all of a sudden i am not feeling good. i think it is anxiety.

i don't know why i feel like this; i just want to cry but can't becsue everyone is home. i am going to bed. i don't know what is going on. actually maybe it is anxiety because i felt like passing out today.

I went to my GP to have my mirena IUD taken out as I had had enough. But he couldn't find the string, so he sent me for a ultrasound. Had that and the guy said i had two fibroids and a cyst on my ovary. but he couldn't find the string either, so had to have an xray to find the metal piece. they didn't tell me anything. but while waiting i was so anxious i almost passed out.

so now i have to wait for tomorrow when my GP will call me at work and let me know what will happen now. hopefully he can take the mirena out. i don't know.

my body is reacting to my anxiety - i feel so shaky, i need to stop. no point telling anyone at home becasue (a) they won't believe me and (b) they prob wouldn't care.

sorry, i had to tell someone. i feel so alone 😞

12926 replies

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In response to: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

I got through an hour but now not good again.
Very teary angry cant believe how angry I am right now

I'm sick of this

I really hate BPD

sh is very strong my mind

@Former-Member @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Gazza75

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

No ,i. know my Darling @BlueBay xoxo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

I know - it's really crappy @BlueBay

But think of little A and hold onto that thought - she is a beautiful child - a gift that was promised to you 3 years ago - remember

Dec

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

But does she want a nonna with a terrible mental illness. No.

i love her so so much @Owlunar

she is my love

now I'm crying

gosh this is so hard

do you know what's been on my mind today - my MIL body in the coffin and this heat. I keep visualising her I don't know why. I know she's T peace now it's the best thing. But omg why am I so upset that she's gone.

The urge to grab something very bad is at the front of my mind.
I need help

I need a distraction

@Shaz51 @Former-Member @Maggie

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay your daughter loves you

your sons love you

and you have a beautiful granddaughter A to love and to be here for xxxxxx

and also you love the beach , putting your toes in the warm sand

and we are sitting with you

@Owlunar, @Former-Member , @Jupiter , @Gazza75

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

@BlueBay ❤️❤️💜💜💖💖🌻🌻🌻

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Hubby just told me he wants to go to the cemetery on the weekend.
I don't want yo go. But I'll have to. He'll want me to go.
I csnt. I just can't. I'm going to sh so I don't have to go.
I'm already in a bad place tonight

I'm not going to work tomorrow. I'm staying in bed. My doctor won't be happy because it's dangerous when I'm home.
I don't care @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Gazza75 @Former-Member

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

ohhh my @BlueBay it is had to carry on

but we need to carry on on sister @BlueBay

it is very hard to keep on keeping on but we need to for our selves

xoxoxoxo

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

I know - I know - I know @BlueBay

You're exhausted

Little A will love you - it won't matter to her that you are depressed sometimes

But if you leave forever - think how that will affect her

It's always hard when someone dies and even people without BPD feel really bad about it

But when someone leaves of their own accord - it's so much worse

We love you here BlueBay and we really care

And I want the best for you and I believe you can get there

But I think you should NOT go to the cemetery - I never go to cemeteries and going at all doesn't register how much we loved them -

Of course your husband can go

Rest in bed tomorrow if that's what you want to do - I get that

Dec

In response to: Re: not feeling good

Re: not feeling good

Morning @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @Former-Member @Maggie @MDT abd others

I'm lost

I don't know who I am anymore

I'm numb

i can't think

the closer it gets to the end of the year the more stressed I'm getting about my job

I'm sitting outside on my deck

it's a beautiful mirning where I am

but I'm not feeling any better

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