not feeling good

@BlueBay Hope you enjoyed your walk and coffee. Take care of yourself.

Zoe

Hi @BlueBay

Great morning for a walk - wonderful - I am still in my dressing gown though when I opened the door to let the cat in I realised it's warm enough to take it off - and get dressed I guess

Fainting spells - not good - it could be the weather and the weather and your stress are setting each other off - I am glad you went to the hospital and had it all checked out - not a bad idea at all

You might be remembering to drink plenty of water but don't forget some salt - not much - there is enough on salt crackers etc - people don't always tell us to eat salt when the weather gets too hot for health

Take things easy - it will take you a long time to get over the anger you have toward your parents - your mother esp - so if you regard this as your temporary normal it will be easier - you have ups and downs that swing way more than most people - and maybe some grinchy nurse who thinks your are "Mentally not right" doesn't get that - forget her.

Sheesh - our mothers sure have the ability to stuff us around - egad - but the anger has to come out - and that's not bad at all - that's good - all the anger you have stuffed down inside you is why you get depressed -

Thinking of you

Dec

Hi @Owlunar @Zoe7 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl

I saw my psychologist this afternoon. She could tell i wasn't in a good frame of mind compared to two weeks ago. She said that two weeks ago i was in a much better state of mind, calmer and happier. But today she noticed I was quite the opposite. So we talked about the last fortnight and what was happening. I told her that i feel exhausted, was doing the liver detox diet and feeling very emotional. i also told her about my nightmare.

She said that i need to stop this diet as i am extrememly fatigued and get my food intake up again so my energy levels will go up. she said for me not to be too hard on myself reg. goals for walking and diets. otherwise i told her i fail and then that is the black and white thinking.

she said instead just eat helathy, walk when i want to and because 'I have to". which makes sense to me because otherwise if i don't walk when i say i will i think i have fgailed and then i think i am so bad because i couldn't achieve my goal.

she said she will see me monthly as i only have 7 sessions left for the year. but if i need to i can see her more often. but also i have my psych that i can see in between. she said i need a lot more sessions but she knows i will not be able to afford it.

@Owlunar i know our mums have a lot to answer for. All the pain, hurt, suffering it's so bad. i tried to understand what the CAT team lady said this mornig to me that maybe my parents don't know how to handle this news of me being abused. maybe they don't know how to cope and by shutting me out is there way of coping. it's their coping skill. Still if this is right - it is NOT right for me thought is it? because i am the one still hurting.

house back on market for developmetn site - hope now we will sell. i told the agent yesterday that i was anxious and stressing and he said he understood and just wants to sell it for us. here's hoping he does 🙂

hubby and i took jersey for a walk down the beach before, it was so beautiful. shallow water made it so much fun for jersey to play with her ball.

i can't wait to have a grandchild, i was planning in my head today all the things i can do with him/her when i am home mondays and tuesdays. i can go to the park, beach, shops. OMG i am gooing to have so much fun.

i need to stay focussed and positive otherwise i spiral down so quickly that then i get so sucked up into my negative thoughts and then behave in a bad way.

i better go and cook some vegies to add to our bbq.

chat again later my beautiful friends xxx000