not feeling good

Music is a good in-the-moment thing to help calm your nerves, but a longer-term solution needs to be found. It might be time to suggest that the older one considers moving out, and see how they both respond ? If he doesn’t want to leave, and the younger one doesn’t actually want him to leave, they might start taking some responsibility for what is happening and make some changes themselves.

@saturnzoon

Hi @saturnzoon

Your situation with your sons is not good at all - and I agree - one of them has to move out - the one who refused to help you when you fell recently - and I know - I read that he is supposed to be your carer so this is a very delicate situation for you

You can put those ear-phones on and listen to music or something on TV or a DVD or whatever pleases you - and chill-out if you can. Or take your medication - it is quite appropriate to take what is prescribed when the situation calls for it

I can hear you - my son was much younger but it was better for him to live elsewhere than at home - my situation was different but I do know what it's like to have an uncontrollable son around - dicy

All the best and sending hugs

Dec

How are you doing @saturnzoon? I'm worried about you. If your SI is that bad you need to call 000, or a helpline such a lifeline or suicide callback service. I've been thinking about you. I'm sorry I haven't replied until now. Are you safe? 💕

I’m sorry @saturnzoon you’re not coping. I agree with the others suggestions. I really feel for you.

Hugs and love your way ❤️❤️

@Molliex @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar

@Maggie @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Razzle @Gazza75 @MDT and others

How am I meant to let out my tears when I’m emotional when all I get is “what’s wrong” “why are you crying” “stop crying”

i just want to cry. I’m really depressed tiday. I think everything is catching up on me. So much to think of. You know this may sound terrible to say - I wish my MIL would just pass away. Now I’m crying 😢

it would be the best for you and we can grieve and move on.

Finances are a big issue for us. House moving. My d poss moving out soon. Miss a when she moves. My eating disorder is really getting to me. House will be quiet. My son going overseas to live and wirk. Snd a job application. Whst the hell was I thinking in applying.

im so overwhelmed right now.

i get so worked up sngry abd thsn teary. I wish this would all stop.

Went fir a walk this morning.

i just need a break.

I just counted - 15 days to our holiday.

Hi @BlueBay

You have got a lot on your plate right and the most important thing - your MIL - it does not sounds at al terrible to me that your thoughts turn toward wishing the Old Lady would get around to dyng - my mother was the same and I would pray she could be taken out of her suffering - and I don't feel at all shamed about that - the last years of her life must have been horrible her - she totally dropped her bundle when Dad died - she lost the plot and was terribly unhappy - afraid to live and afraid to die - totally confused and then she had a stroke and took days to pass on - so I understand what you might be feeling - but we are all different so I would not say I understand exactly what it's like for you

And things don't happen until they do so you may not have to move when your kids move out - three adults and a 2yo cost a lot - with less strain financially it will be easier for you so don't worry about that yet - easier said than done I know - but it will be different when all the changes take place and there is just you and Huffnpuff together - don't worry about tomorrow's problems today - today has enough stuff going on to worry about those things that have yet to come to pass.

But you feel really unsettled - I know - and I understand about your daughter - she is in her mid-twenties and living at your house with her family and doesn't bother to pick up a broom or her clothes and is a messy person to live with - she has been taking advantage of you and needs to get on with her own life in her own home and I know you will miss A when they move out but you will have your tidy, clean house back and I really understand that one.

You need a break and you are getting one in a couple of weeks - it will make a huge difference - getting away from the routine for a few days - two weeks - will ease your heart and mind and you will be refreshed - think about that. Of course you have to come back and get everything moving toward a quiet house - that sounds wonderful to me - in a few weeks I will have been alone for 30 years - I am so used to my own ways - I really like it -

Without all the current issues you might find it easier to control your eating habits - I haven't had an eating disorder so I can't know what that's like and I can't imagine. But I do know that we all have things - good and bad - that we fall back onto when when we are stressed - taking your walks is a good way to deal with things are you are doing that

You have come a long way in 3 years - I know you can't see it but other people can -

You will be okay

Dec

Checking in with you too @saturnzoon becaise I am worried about you.

Thinking of you this morning @saturnzoon and @BlueBay and hoping today is a bit better for you both x

It is not terrible to be thinking that your MIL would pass away soon @BlueBay It is no quality of life how she is now and you do not want her to be suffering. Waiting for the inevitable is really tough and often best for everyone when it happens so the grieving can also begin.