not feeling good

Aww Thankyou @MDT ❤️

I’m so happy that you have good memories of your grandparents. They are special.

I was never close to my grandparents. And my parents were never close to my children. So I made a promise to myself years ago that when I became a grandma I would be the best ever. I would do so much more than my parents ever did.

The love I have for her is hard to explain. I know that we will have a special bond. And I think my granddaughter knows it too.

Maybe I’m also reliving the good parts of my childhood with my granddaughter like playing at the park. I have so much fun going down the slide with her.

Hi @outlander im sorry I forget to tag you. It’s hard to remember so many.

How are you?

I had a terrible night. Had a nightmare if my brother (one of my abusers) snd HD kept telling me he was going to make my life hell snd wouldn’t apologise to me.

I woke up feeling on edge horrible scared and have withdrawn to myself. It was so terrible.

He cant fo that can he? I haven’t seen him fir a few years and even then there was no conversation.

I wish I could retreat someone alone. I feel I need to hide in a corner.

@MDT @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Gazza75 @Owlunar @Zoe7 @Maggie

Your grand-daughter really is a healing presence in your life @BlueBay ❤️

I am sorry yoh had had such a horrible dream. It may be your trauma making its way out through your dreams, so maybe you can label it like that and work at letting the nightmare go ? Maybe opening a window to “let it out” - out of your house, out of your space and life that you have around you now - might help ?

Hugs and hugs @BlueBay . You’re safe in the here and now.

Those dreams are horrible @BlueBay and can take time to get over but you have to distinguish between the dream and reality, what is in the past and what is is the present. Do not let it rule your waking time as it will rule your entire world and you will not be able to move forward in the here and now. You need to tell yourself that he is not in your life and therefore cannot hurt you anymore. You are the only one that can do that BB and you are the only one that has control over your thinking. If you let this dream to occupy all your thoughts then you will not be able to live in the present.

Hi @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope I’m ok. I had a shower and brekkie. It really shook me but reality is I’m ok now. I’m going to visit mil and my parents.

Im going to go fir a walk sgsin this afternoon. I really think walking is helping.

Thanks for your support xxxooo

💙🐚💕 Enjoy your walk @BlueBay . I am sure it is helping you.

@BlueBay Those dreams can really rattle you, I went through a period of having them, and it took a while to get over them. Our brain is a wonderful thing, but isn’t our friend sometimes.

Im so glad you have little A with you and that you get so much joy and pleasure from her. I’ve effectively been cut off from my grandchild. Both my husband and son have thrown me under the bus with the babies mother, and once again I’m the fall guy of all the drama. I’m so tired of everything being a battle. My husband and I have now seperated, he’s all apologetic about what he’s done to me, but I’m just too exhausted to keep going around in these circles where he hurts me (and this time has irrevocably damaged the relationship with my son and his partner) to keep going back for more.

Im not allowed any contact with the baby, unless I get down and beg to an 18yo CHILD who thinks she can treat her partner and her partners family like shit. I can’t deal with the drama anymore, and I won’t have an 18yo run my life. Nothing I say to her is right, and after everything she told me about her mother she has now backtracked and denied it and has said I made it all up. So I’m done, I haven’t seen my grand daughter for at least 6 weeks now and there’s no chance of that ever changing.

You are so lucky to have your little girl with you, I understand it would be tiring, but it’s also very precious.

I hope you enjoy your walk today, it’s raining here so I won’t be venturing too far today. Hope your feeling a bit better this afternoon and all your visits go well. ❤️❤️