How to engage / stay engaged in handling mental health?

Sorry, really wish I had some advice for you. Just wanted to say I agree with you wholeheartedly. It's all right and good to give people "tools and techniques" for handling mental health, but life does pause whilst you use these tools and techniques to recover. No one really seems understand that.

Best of luck to you!

Thanks for your reply & support mate. Tbh life paused years ago but I never got the tools and techniques working. So I just pretended to go back to the real life, and now I'm not really doing either.

For me, it's not a matter of "keeping myself engaged" when I have apathy and lose enjoyment of things. Those symptoms are the first sign of depression and I have in the past forced myself to continue "life as normal" by "keeping myself engaged" and all that does is sap energy because now living the way I used to requires effort, when it all used to just happen naturally without thinking about it. Then I'm apathetic AND tired!

The long term solution is to figure out why you're floundering rather than flourishing and make some changes to turn the slow downwards spiral into a slow upwards one. That might be a job change, it might be lifestyle changes, it might be taking some holidays, it might be seeing a psychologist, it might be medication. It might be a couple of those things. Think about it carefully, talk to your support network about it, and figure out what your plan is.

Also remember that working on your mental health is a challenge, it will take time to figure yourself out and learn what works and what doesn't. I've made a few wrong turns and had to regroup, but I learned from those what is important for me. Forgive yourself, be kind, have patience, and stay hopeful.

Love this @nervouswreck

Such a great suggestion for @Former-Member . I hope it helps.

thank you ❤️

Cheers @nervouswreck , I appreciate your take on all this. The reason I ask about maintaining though is that, while I agree with pretty much everythig you said, the idea of being able to do any of those things you describe as starting points is pretty much my goal at this point.

Thanks mate

I never said they were starting points, some of them are definitely goals!

Changing jobs is a huge step for many people (myself included) and something others don't even fuss about. Anything that's a big task, you break up into smaller, achievable steps. For example, you might want to get your headspace in a better spot before changing jobs because changing jobs will require some resilience. To achieve that goal, you need to park "changing jobs" for the time being and work on resilience. If you think seeing a psychologist will help, then the first step to achieving THAT goal is to book a GP appointment for referral and doing a Mental Health Plan (MHP). The second step is to go see the psychologist and see if it helps you (sometimes you need to try a couple, I've had crap psychologists and great ones).

Focus on your smallest, easiest next step - and do that. Then congratulate yourself for taking a step. Progress is progress!

Thanks @nervouswreck , I think you're right on that.

As far as keeping engaged goes though, that's my main worry, putting aside that stuff. I dunno how I'm gonna make it to all those appointments, I don't do too well out of my house, I don't really even feel comfortable online here if I'm honest. And it's a whole lot easier to just drink at home instead of doing any of that.

Anyway, I am kinda intrigued about the mental health plan, I've had referals and been on medication before, but the only other time I heard about mental health plan was from lifeline, I googled it and was I screwed around or was I meant to ask about this myself?.

Hey @Former-Member there's a saying that could be good for you to hear - 'All progress takes place outside of the comfort zone'. I think it's super normal to be pretty nervous/uncomfortable about seeing a psych. But I think for most, when they find a good one, it makes it all worth it.

If heading out of the house is too big a step right now, you could always try telehealth? And for a MHCP you'd probably have to ask a GP specifically for one - they'll then run through a questionnaire with you with a bunch of questions about stuff like, what is challenging for you right now, what do you want to work on, and other stuff like sleep/eating/anxiety/restlessness/depression. The doc should be able to refer you to a psychologist, and you go from there.

My personal rule of thumb is to give any new psych at least 3 sessions to gauge whether they're the right fit for me. Sometimes you know after just one, but also the first session is usually just about getting to know one another and for the psych to understand a bit about what direction you'd like your therapy to go in, so might not feel like much is accomplished.

Main thing is to remember that you want to find a psych who helps you to feel safe n supported, who pushes you when it is helpful but not if it puts you over the edge.

Good luck!

Great suggestions by @Jynx

"I dunno how I'm gonna make it to all those appointments"

That's the thing.. you're looking at the mountain again. Don't look at it all at once. Just look at the next step. I reckon most people who climb Everest try not to look at the peak, it's too intimidating. Focus right in front of you, not even 3 steps ahead.

Seeing a GP for MHCP form gets you 10 discounted sessions with a psychologist. Many psychs have a gap payment above that, if cost is an issue then talk to your GP to find an affordable one.

It is easier to sit around at home doing nothing but if you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got. As Jynx says, you need to push outside your comfort zone in a gentle, controlled manner if you want to effect change in your life. As for drinking, I am not here to preach but I have found it to be a an increasingly detrimental influence as I get older. It never used to affect my mood but recently I have noticed the next few days after drinking are worse, so I have cut way back on my intake.

Thanks @Jynx , fwiw though there is more intense context I won't go into it here but if you are interested you can read post hopelessness, you might get a better idea for why I struggle too see things the way you do.

Telehealth isn't workable for me, bad in person but way worse on video or on the phone but also I'm very skeptical of the IT sec in my clinic as is.

I feel a little bit like I'm being taken advantage of tbh. Why would I have to find out about the MHCP and ask for it myself? What am I even paying the GP for?

Anyway cheers