creative_writerSenior Contributor
I can’t find peace
I guess I’m used to living on the edge 😔
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I can’t find peace
275 replies
In response to: I can’t find peace
tymeModerator
Re: I can’t find peace
I hear it is so hard right now @creative_writer
At the same time, there are two ways of looking at this:
1) I'm a failure
2) Where is there room for me to improve?
You may not be able to answer this with sincerity right now.
Give yourself some space and come back to whether you want to get feedback about your placement.
Hugs @creative_writer
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t find peace
@tyme, I got feedback through uni. Clearly the placement didn’t have the courage to give that feedback to my face. A heads up would’ve been nice, even if they had to let me go. You don’t leave someone without saying goodbye. Is there any point talking to those who don’t care about my well-being and don’t have the courage to give feedback to my face? Only uni cares about me
I’ve been having a very rough time since last weekend, when I thought things couldn’t get worse, they did
I’ve been having a very rough time since last weekend, when I thought things couldn’t get worse, they did
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
tymeModerator
Re: I can’t find peace
Hugs @creative_writer
I'm sitting with you. I hear it must be difficult to hear that they let you go.
Is was at a school?
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t find peace
@tyme, yes it was at a school. I feel like closure is very important. I don’t know if I am being nit picky, but that didn’t rub me in a good way. I guess many people just don’t care. At least I didn’t disclose anything personal about my life. Though, I still feel like I was to blame, like I’ve done something wrong to get dumped. The placement was really affecting my MH anyways for a while before it happened. They just assumed my behaviour was lack of interest instead of underlying struggles. If someone else did okay on placement, that means something is wrong with me, right?
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
tymeModerator
Re: I can’t find peace
I'm wondering if it is because of the current stressors at school that they just didn't have the time you needed to work with you? @creative_writer
Schools are so under pressure at the moment. It's a very difficult place to be in. Teacher shortages are horrendous. I'm wondering it that has meant they've sort of dismissed you.
I also believe closure is so important.
What do you think you will do, moving forward?
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t find peace
@tyme, they were pretty straight up saying I wasn’t engaging and not interested to the uni. There was a lot of misunderstanding, talking would’ve cleared it up, but clearly they didn’t want to talk so just cut me off. It was easier to shift the blame onto me instead.
I will be doing a different placement
I will be doing a different placement
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
tymeModerator
Re: I can’t find peace
I'm so sorry to hear that @creative_writer .
So does that mean you don't have to redo your semester of uni?
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t find peace
@tyme, I’ll be redoing all those 100 hours
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
tymeModerator
Re: I can’t find peace
Arghhh. I also think it's important to find a place that suits you. So maybe schools are not for you? There are plenty of other options @creative_writer
In response to: Re: I can’t find peace
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: I can’t find peace
@tyme, it’s off putting people are willing to judge with little info. I guess people are just judgemental, even those who say they’re not. Maybe I’m triggered, I was bullied during my school life and felt judged, I didn’t feel safe, and certainly did not feel safe on placement. I randomly had a SA flashback during my placement, not sure why, even though SA was from my adult life. The migraines tired me out. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, apart from feeling extremely shit for so many reasons, maybe I am depressed so things feel amplified. It’s not people’s fault if they trigger me, my well-being is my responsibility at the end of the day. Most people don’t give a shit.
I know there are plenty of options, it just makes me feel shit that if another student can manage the placement, why can’t I?
I know there are plenty of options, it just makes me feel shit that if another student can manage the placement, why can’t I?
