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Something’s not right

(not actually) Coping with things.

(not actually) Coping with things.

Urghhh. Things feel really hard at the moment.

I spent the weekend in the emergency department on forms. I was sent home when the consultant came and saw me today because there were no beds and as I hurt myself in the ED the day before couldn't guarantee my safety so there

was no point in me being there.

I cried to my psychologist when I go home as I couldn't get into the house and broke down about how I planned to end my life. I then was talked down until I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon. The plan was to get admitted but there's no beds anywhere across the city. So yet again I was sent home.

Now I'm home. I don't know what to do. There were supposed to have another carer on for me this evening but they've just been in the office all shift. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

My psych team told me not to go back to ed because of the strain on the ed system at the moment.

So where does that leave me. Idk. I'm safe enough for now.i think. But idk. My psychiatrist gave me some extra meds. The plan is to wait until a bed becomes available. I feel in limbo..

Maybe the chat here will help. I just want a space where I can be heard and not judged. A place to feel safety and warmth. A space where people get it.

Thanks for listening to my rant about my day. I'm exhausted.

208 replies

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In response to: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Everything has escalated to the point where they won't let me have clothes anymore. I can't have my stuff, they lock me out of my room. I want to go home.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Oh no, sorry to hear what you're going through there...and that they have wrongly said you have EUPD...and that they haven't addressed the reasons you went in in the first place! @The-red-centaur

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@NatureLover cheers

I feel like I'm just getting worse. Today my nurse said stop seeking attention.

Why would I want the attention. I have autism. Attention is the last thing I want rn.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Hi @The-red-centaur I'm sorry to hear you experienced that. It sounds like a very stigmatising situation to be in and it is not OK for a nurse to speak to you that way. Do you have anyone else you can ask for support? We are here for you 💝

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

I feel like my painting today....

Chaotic and moody.

Moan. I'm tired of everything.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@Paperdaisy I am speaking to my psychologist tomorrow.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Beautiful painting @The-red-centaur Good to hear you're talking to your psychologist tomorrow.

The weather is wild where I am today, making me feel moody too. Sitting with you.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Stormy skies, breaking waves @The-red-centaur

Hope there's a shaft of light between the clouds soon

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@moderator am I still allowed to use sane phone helpline even though I'm inpatient.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@Dimity @Paperdaisy thank you. I spent my morning distracting in the art room. Was fun to paint that.

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