(not actually) Coping with things.

Urghhh. Things feel really hard at the moment.

I spent the weekend in the emergency department on forms. I was sent home when the consultant came and saw me today because there were no beds and as I hurt myself in the ED the day before couldn't guarantee my safety so there

was no point in me being there.

I cried to my psychologist when I go home as I couldn't get into the house and broke down about how I planned to end my life. I then was talked down until I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon. The plan was to get admitted but there's no beds anywhere across the city. So yet again I was sent home.

Now I'm home. I don't know what to do. There were supposed to have another carer on for me this evening but they've just been in the office all shift. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

My psych team told me not to go back to ed because of the strain on the ed system at the moment.

So where does that leave me. Idk. I'm safe enough for now.i think. But idk. My psychiatrist gave me some extra meds. The plan is to wait until a bed becomes available. I feel in limbo..

Maybe the chat here will help. I just want a space where I can be heard and not judged. A place to feel safety and warmth. A space where people get it.

Thanks for listening to my rant about my day. I'm exhausted.