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Something’s not right

(not actually) Coping with things.

(not actually) Coping with things.

Urghhh. Things feel really hard at the moment.

I spent the weekend in the emergency department on forms. I was sent home when the consultant came and saw me today because there were no beds and as I hurt myself in the ED the day before couldn't guarantee my safety so there

was no point in me being there.

I cried to my psychologist when I go home as I couldn't get into the house and broke down about how I planned to end my life. I then was talked down until I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon. The plan was to get admitted but there's no beds anywhere across the city. So yet again I was sent home.

Now I'm home. I don't know what to do. There were supposed to have another carer on for me this evening but they've just been in the office all shift. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

My psych team told me not to go back to ed because of the strain on the ed system at the moment.

So where does that leave me. Idk. I'm safe enough for now.i think. But idk. My psychiatrist gave me some extra meds. The plan is to wait until a bed becomes available. I feel in limbo..

Maybe the chat here will help. I just want a space where I can be heard and not judged. A place to feel safety and warmth. A space where people get it.

Thanks for listening to my rant about my day. I'm exhausted.

208 replies

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In response to: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

So I have a bed. I just arrived at the psych ward. Thanks everyone for the input. I'll keep you updated. I'm really tired. I hopefully will rest well tonight.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Yay for a bed! @The-red-centaur

Hoping you get the rest you deserve

take care,

fluffylight

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Yay for a bed! @The-red-centaur 🙂

And I really like the 2 paintings you posted - especially the abstract one, I'd have that on my wall for sure if I saw it somewhere to buy. Beautiful.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

I had the worst panic attack during one of the groups today. So I retreated to my room and coloured in.

 

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Love the colours @The-red-centaur

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

I finally saw the psychiatrist yesterday. She wants to send me home on Monday....Idk if I can do it.

I had leave today and went to officeworks and bought art supplies. I came back to the ward stressed and suicidal. But I did a painting to calm down.

 a random sunrise feels nice. I miss sunrises over the sea being in WA now.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Nice @The-red-centaur . But you'd have sunsets... across the water... and maybe WA wildflowers.

Hope your stay helped you reset, or was a bit of respite. Monday seems soon...

Best wishes from the chilly south-east.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@Dimity thanks.

Monday feels too soon. They haven't even addressed why I am here. I was supposed to change meds, deal with psychosis, process some family issues, regain feelings of safety among other stuff.

But nothing has happened, or changed. i feel like its pointless being here. it didn't help my appointed psychiatrist was away all week and didn't see me 'til late yesterday. and now its the weekend I wont be seeing someone either. I might as well just go home.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

I'm sorry to hear that @The-red-centaur . Were you able to tell the psychiatrist all this? I'm wondering if they were on the same page.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@tyme i told her im not coping and that im still suicidal etc. she said because i have eupd i am only allowed a short admission and it was already too long.

thing is i dont even have eupd!

im frustrated with the mental health system. it feel pointless rn.

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