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Something’s not right

(not actually) Coping with things.

(not actually) Coping with things.

Urghhh. Things feel really hard at the moment.

I spent the weekend in the emergency department on forms. I was sent home when the consultant came and saw me today because there were no beds and as I hurt myself in the ED the day before couldn't guarantee my safety so there

was no point in me being there.

I cried to my psychologist when I go home as I couldn't get into the house and broke down about how I planned to end my life. I then was talked down until I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon. The plan was to get admitted but there's no beds anywhere across the city. So yet again I was sent home.

Now I'm home. I don't know what to do. There were supposed to have another carer on for me this evening but they've just been in the office all shift. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

My psych team told me not to go back to ed because of the strain on the ed system at the moment.

So where does that leave me. Idk. I'm safe enough for now.i think. But idk. My psychiatrist gave me some extra meds. The plan is to wait until a bed becomes available. I feel in limbo..

Maybe the chat here will help. I just want a space where I can be heard and not judged. A place to feel safety and warmth. A space where people get it.

Thanks for listening to my rant about my day. I'm exhausted.

208 replies

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In response to: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Sorry to hear where you're at, @The-red-centaur 😞

Hoping things improve and you can get enough support... 🤞

In response to: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Hope you're OK today @The-red-centaur and a bed comes through soon. I hear you looked to your mum for reassurance but she was worrying about other things. There's still connection. I'm glad your MH team rallied yesterday and supported you.

One step at a time. Hope you find a good movie or other diversion today.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Thank you @NatureLover

@Dimity I didn't sleep last night, just lay there all night. Got up at 4ish to play some xbox and that helped and I fell asleep around 630.

I got a call from my psychologist checking in on me this morning. She said they'd call bed flow and find out where things are at. I'm really glad I have a good team on my side.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

So glad your psychologist is supportive @The-red-centaur . Hope you could rest up today after your broken night.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Urrrrh I still haven't heard from the hospital. I tried doing some art. It was shit.

I'm over it. I tried getting in contact with the team again. Admin said they were unavailable.

I feel like everything isn't worth trying anymore

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

It must be frustrating @The-red-centaur . The health system limps along and the delays are outside of your control.

What sort of art do you do?

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Hi @The-red-centaur

I'm sorry you are experiencing this right now.

You're seeking support for yourself and this is so important. I want to acknowledge your needs and I want to reaffirm that you are heard here and I hope this can be a safe warm place for you - where people get it. Please know you are worth receiving support, I'm sending you gentle vibes your way.

Sending you lots of light,

fluffy light

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

 that is what I painted today....

I feel so overwhelmed. My team got back to me and told me to go to ed.

 that's the stuff I usually paint, I mostly paint landscapes.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Wow @The-red-centaur the waterfall is amazing.

The one you did today I also like... somehow it's like an abstraction of galahs in the late afternoon... or a sunrise.

Best wishes for ED... I hope you're not stranded there for too long. Keep us posted.

In response to: Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

Re: (not actually) Coping with things.

@The-red-centaur

These are so beautiful, thank you for sharing your art. Your talent is beautiful.

Are you thinking to go ED? Is it something that serves you as a positive step for your wellbeing?

Hoping overwhelm gets easier for you.

fluffylight x

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