Need help with a complex situation with depression

Hi,

I usually post on the lived experience forum as I have MI issues but have an issue I am struggling with relating to depression and anxiety with my son's girlfriend who lives under my roof. I am not sure how or if to intervene. It is causing me stress and affecting my mmental health lately too. She has not come out of her room for days and has been demanding of my son who is doing his last exams and needs good grades to do honours next year. They have lived here for about 4months and this would be about the 6th episode. She really has only had about two weeks of being ok. She won't seek help but says she wants my son to get a professional to contact her. I have talked to her about headspace but again she wants them to contact her. She was seeing a psychologist earlier this year but has stopped and has highlighted that she wanted the psychologist to ring her and make the appointments.

Her mood is currently affecting mine and I feel like I'm walking on egg shells, my emotions are starting to spike in unpredictable ways because of this situation too. I have trouble with emotion regulation as I have BPD traits but don't lash out rather turn them inwards. I am watching my son suffer and it's difficult when it's under your roof. He jumps to her every command.

I am am looking for advice to a) help her seek professional help. b) know how to effectively help her. I've been too scared to broach this with her and how I deal with my depression is very different to hers. C) know how to deal with it so it doesn't take me out.

I feel like a hypocrite with this all because I have had several serious episodes of depression and have a couple of hospital admissions during this time so I also feel like anything I say will be seen as the pot calling the kettle black.

Her family is aware of her MH issues but not of her current situation. I don't really have contact with them to ask for help. I guess if it wasn't under my roof I may not get involved but I am seeing it destroy her life and my sons in the process.

Im grateful for any advice.