Need help with a complex situation with depression

Lol ... no ... just getting everyone settled, then writing the above essay .... you will have worked that out by now ....

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So ... have you got a to-do list that looks like this -

1. Feed dog

2. Feed dog

Not really being facitious .... I think it would be a good idea to start with 7 days of this with 3 blank lines underneath .... then write in when you have fed yourself, or cleaned your teeth, or anything at all else ....

Your challenge is to extend the list, but with balance .... in other words not a go-for-broke-then-fall-off-the-wagon ..... maybe get yourself fed twice a day on that list asap, then slowly add in one more thing when you've got consistency with -

1. Feed dog

2. Feed Teej

3. Feed dog

4. Feed Teej

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You know I don't mind a good essay 😊 @Faith-and-Hope . I had some similar parallels re my ex MIL. She could not see the forest for the trees re her son and his illness. She couldn't see it as a mental illness. To her it was just something he was not to do again, that he'd been a naughty boy but knew better now, not that it had been a continued pattern of behaviour with him since 15.

I think you're spot on with him not understanding the dynamic he has created with her either. There will be a lot more realisation moments coming I'd imagine, especially as she gets older and he becomes her carer.

i think you do a great job helping those kids find some kind of normal. Good for you for laying it down for her to see. Your ability to provide empathy but at the same time compartmentalise everything is an amazing skill. My best friend and I are at polar ends of the spectrum with that. I can't compartmentalise or park things up ever. I never learned and still haven't. It's on the to do list but you are role modelling that beautifully for your kids. i think the key is not to compartmentalise all emotions away from view all the time which was what I think my mum did, but it wasn't her fault either. I track it back two generations at least. I would have too compartmentalised had I not got a different gene pool. (Sorry side track, all about me:face_with_rolling_eyes:😳) I really hope that MIL does learn and stay backed away from WH ear.

I think this trip has bought you so many experiences that have opened cracks but at the same time allowed for them to begin to be explored. I think it's a good thing. I hope you all get to regroup a bit before you head home now.

On a side note my s4 had his psych appointment yesterday to which I went in and told the psych of my explosion and not dealing well with it and he worked with S4 to problem solve situation in a way that I couldn't right now which I'm grateful for. Then s4 and I talked it over calmly after. A small win.

Sorry for my earlier insecurity. Phams worker really not helping by mocking my therapy either.

I hope you sleep well. Catch you later no doubt. 💜🤗😘

That's what it pretty much is going to look like @Faith-and-Hope. Sorry I replied with essay that took ages. I just need start to create one or two habits this week then as my book says piggy back the next ones to them once they're becoming habits. Eventually hopefully I would have created a few routines that I don't think about I just do. I have seriously been getting so head up over everything. The book talks about habits taking away decisions which takes up valuable mental space. This I can attest to. It's an interesting read for someone who has lost the plot completely. :face_with_rolling_eyes:😳

Sounds like an interesting read for most people @Former-Member .... I am glad it is supporting you.

So, so glad to hear you had support sorting things out with S4 .... and yes, a win there re your personal communications with each other.

So sorry to hear about your Phams worker ... grrr .... as if an insensitive pigeon-holing psych wasn't enough .... you sound like me in that many chips seem to fall together, but I hope you're also like me in that many blessings can also arrive together .... I call us "lottery ticket people" .... we seem to land right on the money, both ways.

When I landed in my earlier married circumstances, I decided I needed to manage different aspects of my home and family the same sort of way you would manage an occupation .... or several occupations to be correct ....

I needed to organise the finances as if I were working as an accountant.

I needed the environment and daily time-tabling to resemble a day-care facility - 5 kids under 10

I needed the housekeeping to function like a cleaning service.

I needed the kitchen to function like a restaurant . meal planning, tick-box shopping lists, pre-preparation of some ingredients, etc ...

From there it wasn't difficult to work out systems for anything and everything else.

Systems are great, and yeah, they make it much easier to engage auto-pilot.

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Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. I hope you sleep well, I know it's really late 💜🤗😘💤😴

Btw .... your recap of my situation sounds pretty spot-on .... something is on the move ....

WH and I ended up being the only ones walking up to the coffee bar tonight. That has hapoened other nights, and it's been, let's say, polite .... ? Tonight I was offered a game of backgammon, and it was strangely intimate ....

Although rusty at first, I won .... 😊❣

Yeah .... my coach has been a pumpkin for a couple of hours now ...

G'night .... and thanks for my floral coffee ..... ❤️💤

❤️💕 ... @Former-Member

LOVE the image you posted for Change on Celebrate thread ❣

@Former-Member