Winter solstice

I am doing "feel the fear" and do it anyway, but also reflecting, being careful, but committing to me being authentic, which is taking time and courage. I am in a mode of pushing back and trying to limit my people pleading @Dimity I am trying to make the most of every positive glimmer of hope or connection. Weirdly, I bumped into my psychiatrist's receptionist at the supermarket. Working on my Smalltalk, without it being too brainless, but a little light hearted and meaningful. I have stopped compromising my authenticity for fitting in. It's tricky. It's harder to re-engage from total isolation. I pray a lot to find some good will 'out there' and riff off it.

Good luck in your efforts. It also helped me to find people in non mainstream Lived Experience and peer support fields. I am talking mental health advocacy with normies.

You have your eye issues and I am sorry you experienced medical gas lighting, I have too.

Take care both of you @NatureLover 

Who would criticise you for the absence of rings, @Dimity

?! Those people are obviously focussed on the wrong things in life! I've never been married so never worn rings.

I'm glad you've found 2 local meetup and knit groups, at least.

That does sound offputting about the walk-in MH clinics. I would hope they'd be more welcoming in person.

Thanks, @Appleblossom 🙂 You too.

Vale Dolly Parton.

Jolene, medieval style https://youtu.be/ugqQlB5fpuc?si=YwU4wauGECW7vJVR

@Appleblossom @NatureLover

Unfinished business, unresolved traumas, abandoned projects. Those are my clutter.

Reimagining and deciding what fits the picture is helping, but assimilating old hurts is tough.

Wondered how you were doing. @Dimity

Do you want to mention any of your projects?

My looping brain brought me back to GM Hopkins via his curtal sonnet. Just after I came out with a few new haiku, today.

Hildegard von Blingen

LOL

Oh @Dimity Its hilarious.

I have a friend who will appreciate it.

A respectful, humorous Vale. Thank you.

@Appleblossom apparently Hopkins wrote 3 curtal sonnets but I only know the Pied Beauty one.

Haiku... Basho is interesting.

Projects... many craft thingies, academic pursuits, ideas for repairs and renovations. A couple of people want me to research family history but I'm not up to it while dredging up my own history with immediate family as part of decluttering.

I've stalled on following up leads to new local groups. Catch 22 with depression and inadequacy, vicious cycle. Might try again when feeling stronger.

Have tentatively arranged 2 social meetups with friends, a huge deal for me. Will see how they play out (still weeks away).

Well done on arranging two social catch-ups with friends, @Dimity . I hope they go well.

Your crafts and academic pursuits can be good when you are in the mood. Also can be done on your own timetable. I hope your meetings with friends go well. For me its a hands up in the air kind of things ... More structural social activities are really up to whether it would be good for you or not. Thats the total justification. So your call, when, and if, it seems the right thing to do. I became really isolated a long time ago, and so the structured approach was necessary for me. Horses for courses.

@Dimity

Good to hear from you

Perhaps there's a tradeoff between structure in groups and personal connection @Appleblossom ? But I haven't got anywhere so it's hypothetical.

The Spring equinox is coming up. These astronomical checkpoints feel significant. I feel my time is limited and I'm always unsure if I'll make it to the next one. (I'm safe.)

My psychologist has handballed the responsibility for change back to me, starting today. I'm at a loss.