Winter solstice

I picked up the cat's ashes earlier this evening @Shaz51 @NatureLover @Appleblossom @AuntGlow

Was surprised by a little showbag with pawprint etc. I loved him a lot.

Ooh, steam cleaning must be so satisfying. Do you have your own machine? @Dimity

It sounds like you're doing your very best to stay regulated, grounded, and intentional about the way you approach this family member, Dimity. I can see you are working so hard to be mindful and I really want to commend you on this, it's not easy at all. Whilst you have understanding, that doesn't negate the hurt. How do you process/support yourself through these feelings? I am here to listen if you need to talk through any of it. 💛

I am glad to hear you are still gardening and crafting. I am sorry that you're being excluded, that's not okay at all. Are there times you feel included in conversation or feel resonant with anyone else in the group?

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@Dimity wrote:

I picked up the cat's ashes earlier this evening @Shaz51 @NatureLover @Appleblossom @AuntGlow

Was surprised by a little showbag with pawprint etc. I loved him a lot.

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I just saw this - how are you feeling? @Dimity 💛

Sending you lots of understanding hugs my friend 🧡 @Dimity

@AuntGlow I paid for expert steamcleaning and carpet treatment. I'm glad it's done. It also was a reset for my decluttering efforts.

Yes it's so hard with my family member, she's been spiralling the last few days and has had some nasty accidents but says she doesn't want help. Then complains noone has helped her. My former counsellor told me it was outside of my control and not to worry about it but she means a lot to me so I persevere. But it affects me greatly and my blood pressure sometimes spikes to dangerously high levels.

One craft lady is very friendly on the minibus commute and has gifted me things, but the group itself is awkward. People have shut me down repeatedly although I think I'm usually fairly quiet and introverted and have just been trying to make conversation. The dynamics may change as the most dominant lady hasn't been well enough to attend.

The future is looking a bit bleak at present but I'll continue focussing on getting by from day to day. I'll try to make progress on decluttering and had been thinking of setting another 40 day target but that feels a bit difficult. There's a lot to do in the garden too, if I can cope with the heavy digging needed. My surgeon had warned me off doing too much.

I'm reading again - a little inspirational reading each morning - and hope to get back to reading for pleasure in the evenings.

Thanks for asking @AuntGlow . Very sad, a few tears still. The vet staff were lovely.

It's been just over 2 weeks so I guess the loss isn't as raw.

I really don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, not that that will be long, so I'll have to work harder at social and community connections.

Thanks @Shaz51

Aww @Dimity so sorry for your loss. Wanted to send you some hugs hun, losing a pet is always a heavy time 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

Thanks @Jynx

The support button isn't working @Dimity , but I wanted to say I hear you 🫂

Sending care ❤️