Winter solstice

Here for you @Appleblossom @Dimity @NatureLover .

How are things going for you all?

I miss you all

@Appleblossom , I'm reading about your rapid cycle bipolar. Sounds so difficult. How are you managing?

Competitive bullies sums up some of my family @Appleblossom . I guess they were raised that way. It's very sad if your father was put upon by family, the impact can be massive.

I haven't looked at the link yet but will be interested. I never related much to the BPD diagnosis but could feel cut to the quick by family and colleagues, so I was emotionally labile.

Just listened to the Tavener 'Lamentations and praises' while ironing. Glorious.

Hello @tyme .

So good to hear from you @Dimity . I hope this message finds you well. It sounds tough with family.

Thanks @tyme . Treading warily at present, trying to maintain equilibrium as a lot has been going wrong.

Relieved to have made it to Easter, it had been an interim goal.

@Appleblossom thanks for the link. The kindling theory and circadian rhythm disruption resonate. My former shrink explored hypothyroidism and most classes of antidepressants.

Like you I've come to think cptsd has a lot to do with everything.

At present I'm struggling to discover how identity and purpose can feed into and from a rhythm of life, and failing. Not sure I'm looking at the right modalities, I sense spiritual direction has more to offer. I've given up hope of much else.

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@Dimity wrote:

Thanks @tyme . Treading warily at present, trying to maintain equilibrium as a lot has been going wrong.

Relieved to have made it to Easter, it had been an interim goal.

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Wise move. We can't change people, so we've just gotta change how we manage, right?

Loving that you listened to Tavener while ironing. @Dimity

I must confess my ironing board hasn't been used a in a long while. lol

Gee I must be getting blunt in my old age... competitive bullies ...

I last saw them after mum passed. They were claiming their real estate. He said in a loud voice for my son to hear ... the best defence is a good offence...

Yes, The tall big migrant family did bully my father. 5 vs 1

it does put it all in perspective. That aunt got the successful husband with a family with land... they managed to tell me cynical stories and bred a drug dealer son ... though the uncle ... had a massive room stashed full of good classical music records and tapes .... but he was an arrogant show off about it... at least my mother was a musician.

I guess I am best facing the realities and living without them. I was very slow to join all the dots... just hankered after love and family.

Done better here on the forum. Thanks ladies.

@tyme we were just talking about rapid cycling as a way of conceptualising things

like Dimity ... I prefer the word labile... and generally coming to terms with emotions and emotional responses in social context...

I question the labels they gave my parents, though they were unwell

I doubt worrying about bipolar is going to help me. I just dont believe in the DSM as the all mighty bible. researched it in a medical library... for wot its worth.

I am not very fundamentalist ... re psychiatry or Christianity

lol

Hearing you about the spiritual path being important, Dimity. I yearn and desire for wisdom and clarity and pray my son receives it. Seems the best I can do.

You can't always choose your rellies and in-laws @Appleblossom but you can set boundaries and limit contact.

My family situation is so fraught and my mh being problematic with no support other than my psychiatrist's med I'm trying to intuit and discern ways forward, trying to do the right thing despite a history of making things worse. Things keep happening, new calamities unfolding so it's pretty constant. Even as a bystander it's exhausting, more so when I try to help.

@Dimity Sorry calamitous things keep happening. I am sensing your genuiness about finding the best course of action. When things are like that, it is really hard to know.

Take solace in your way, loved the image of you ironing to Taverner. We only did a little when singing in the city church. I am grateful for the live music. The level of my local church is simpler. We go where we can.

gently bently

Daylight savings is over... we get an extra hour!