Winter solstice

Lovely to hear of your wins Apple 🍎.

I'd surmised you have a lot going on. And acknowledge your care and circumspection around what you choose to share. Much strength to your arm. Stoicism or not, you embody a Greek warrior goddess at times.

I feel I'll need time to recover and reflect. And if there's a way forward, what it might be.

Cough cough? Do I hear scepticism? Corneal scarring wasn't trivial. Capped off years of other eye problems.

@Appleblossom

my skepticism is of the so called health professionals @Dimity not you. I have known you have struggled with serious eye issues for a while. I took your statement at face value and tried to give support.

God communication can be hard.

We are all sensitive cos we have been hurt.

I did not want to share my stories cos I also see this as your thread.

❤️ no offence taken @Appleblossom I trusted you enough to check my understanding..

And I've noted your carefulness even in you own thread. I allude to my family situation from time to time but also feel constrained from sharing detail. So I whinge about my domestic stuff for a little relief. I should broaden my horizons instead.

I see my counsellor tomorrow. Will it be tge last session? Perhaps.

@Dimity I was pretty heated in my upset with thehealth industry. I no longer think of it as a profession. There are exceptions, of course, but the system is rewarding a lot of lazy overpaid people.

Also weirdly synchronistic. There was another conversation over on the Christian Chat thread, which mentioned problems with health people not doing their job well.

I heard your accuracy about your own condition, a while back, and believed you, and do believe the patient often has their own experrtise.

I have no Gp at the moment, cos I was gaslit about my neck, and am weary of looking and realising that I now look very bad on paper and am learning to expect judgment over care. Even when I joined the forum, 10 years ago, I had more hope in both the physical and mental health health systems. Not any more. regards my son and myself. Though I had a good day at the clinic. I did pay for it, and have paid a great deal over the years, so I am not naieve. But at least they were doing their jobs, unlike many who get away with NOT DOING THEIR JOBS, but still getting paid. Earlier I had good interactions with doctors and respected them. I did not want to be dependent on them, but that is the nature of the relationship.

@Appleblossom re your former gp and your neck I recall a very helpful osteopath set me straight about a couple of things needing proper investigation and treatment, and recommended a very good gp her own inlaws saw. I wonder if your network can suggest someone

I hear you re cost and paying for the privilege. Yesterday set me back hundreds but the relief was profound. I've been pretty angry too, in fact that was what drove me to push forward yesterday despite the earlier knockbacks.

I've fallen back from Christian Chat as I've moved more into the kingdom being close at hand in an ongoing spiritual dimension, as per those I follow, contra sin and evil, judgement and damnation. i still haven't gatecrashed the local church I've taken an interest in.

Yes. Medicos should do their jobs. And observe their oath to "first, do no harm" -

Whether by omission or by commission.

---

@Dimity wrote:

@Appleblossom @NatureLover @AuntGlow yesterday I spat the dummy and initiated an urgent evaluation of my sore eyes. The specialist fitted me in and confirmed rare sensitivity/allergy, tacitly confirming the same active ingredient may have been a factor in my part blindness. Then I had a super expensive taxi ride to pick up new eye drops from a distant pharmacy.

To top it off the pharmacy spun me the story the new eyedrops weren't on PBS. As soon as I got back in the taxi I googled and found it was indeed on PBS at a fraction of the price.

I'm so disappointed in the succession of professionals I consulted fruitlessly weeks ago. My eyesight deteriorated noticeably in that time and I had unnecessary pain. Today I'm tired, relieved, and utterly bemused by the constant need for awareness and self advocacy to get a fair go.

@tymemedical gaslighting might not be a recognised term but I wonder if those of us with mh conditions receive more than most.

---

Awwww @Dimity ... I"m so so so sorry that you've had to endure all this! Those eye drops??? I don't even know what to say - both the former and the latter... I feel like that emoji with a person holding their hand to their head....

Arghhhhhh....

Oh @Dimity . I feel for you....

I hope you get the relief you should've had a long time ago!

Thanks @tyme . My counsellor suggests it's ageism not necessarily mh stigma (I'm

a senior).

So sorry about what happened re your eyes, @Dimity 😥😡

Well done for fighting for yourself.

Was it the last session with your counsellor?

Yes it may have been the last session @NatureLover . I seem to have come to a full stop on just about everything.

The 12 months since my relapse seem to have been a write-off.

I don't know how to turn things around.

I hear you @Dimity, and this is a really insightful reflection - I think many of us feel shame around needing support, but also not quite knowing what that looks like. Do you think maybe you're just needing to feel safe right now?
Gosh, that really does sound overwhelming and confusing. 😣

It's okay, sometimes we don't have anything positive to share and that's allowed. You acknowledging that it's hard for you to connect with a sense of recovery is a part of recovery, in my opinion.

How are you feeling now? 🫶