Broken very broken

We start out creatures of some in built cerebral advantages and disadvantages but it's our experiences that define who we are and what we become, if people treat you like a loser, a monster, a freak, worthless how long before you become it, same works the other way in the end how long before you believe, how many beatings, how many times being used, how many abuses how many humiliations, how much laughter before a person breaks, a lifetime of being told, being shown, and being treated as of no worth to anyone sooner or later something's gotta give.

now with regards to Alice, that is interesting firstly it is from chapter 10 and while a book written by a excessive fan of hallucinogens is maybe not the best place for advice it is also all about how experience creates change and she does recount her adventures to the gryphon and mock turtle.

i find the majority of the populace extraordinarily flawed, shallow and materialistic, I am of course flawed but my nature, my morality and my desire to help without underlying motivations, but I will not abuse or hate them for that I may not feel it right but it's not my place to inflict my will on others, but the majority and the minority seemingly take great enjoyment in inflicting pain/hurt on me without guilt or anything else. I will never know so many things that are integral to humanity but we must accept our place in the end.

As I was outside as 12 passed listening to the drunken revellers and the illegal fireworks, I cannot help but wonder they seem so cheery and happy even when I did drink I never had that kind of reaction makes me think that my psychological makeup and brain chemistry is as faulty as everything else

Hi @Redraw Good to see you

I used to be a sad sack all the time ..

but now it varies ..

my belief is that nothing has tickled your funny bone yet ..

I am not really a sad sack oh I am a fractured mess but I don't take it out on anyone, I make people laugh all the time I make jokes consistently I laugh I smile but when numbers or strangers impact and put me into shutdown I can barely develop a coherent sentence these days

Me too @Redraw

there is humour in your profile pic

I have often have problems getting words out .. which makes my son laugh .. and thats ok ..and is why typing has been so good ....

People rarely have interest in talking to me so it's not really noticed, I must look like a cross between, Igor, Quasimodo and the elephant man without the charisma or personality

There are important people to me but I am not important to them, them being blood relatives and there is a limit to what I would or could say to them, anyone else I thought there was any level of closeness with showed me exactly how wrong I was, I can only communicate within very limited numbers one on one is best but needs time too