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New to this. Struggling a bit.

NoybCasual Contributor05 May 2023, 7:41 pm AEST

New to this. Struggling a bit.

New to this but thought I'd have ago. The last 3 weeks have been so hard for myself and my daughter. My partner attempted suicide. And has been in hospital since. She has blamed me for what has happened. We are having a few problems, I wanted 2 days away to clear my head. She then attempted it. It's been a rollercoaster. My daughter is all over place. Doesn't want to have anything to do her anymore. She is starting counselling next wk. I'm a mess. Have decided to end the relationship. Just can't don't it anymore. I'm so sad, confused and lost. She has been diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder. She is nice one day and nasty the next. Very tired.

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In response to: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Unknown userMember05 May 2023, 7:54 pm AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Hi @Noyb

Glad you found the forum.

Glad you vented.

You wrote well. You packed a lot of information in your chat.

You appear to be astute.

You appear to know what you have to do.

Hard your daughter needs counselling but we do know children feel the affects of relationships.

Glad you are thinking what you need to do to move forward.

Very hard to live life "walking on eggs"

It is important to know you are not alone and it is good you see it os a journey.

Sane has help. Lifeline is also good to vent.

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

NoybCasual Contributor05 May 2023, 8:02 pm AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Thank you. I need to think of my daughters wellbeing. And my wellbeing. Probably sounds selfish.

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Unknown userMember05 May 2023, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Hi @Noyb

It is so hard to get around helping ourself seems selfish.

Practise what l preach. It is not selfish.

Like you, l feel so guilty "getting on" when the people we help do not show they want progress and we feel guilty.

You have a daughter.

Without sounding hard, it is maybe more selfish for you and your daughter to suffer.

Have fun with your daughter. Let her see life continues while her mum sorts herself out.

One hopes your wife will see she is missjng the Love.

But if she does not, you owe it to your daughter to be "selfish" and keep you and your daughter as Sane as you can.

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

NoybCasual Contributor05 May 2023, 8:12 pm AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Thank you. You are the only person that has made things a bit clearer for me.

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Unknown userMember05 May 2023, 8:13 pm AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

In summary.

It does sound selfish but is far from selfish.

I said you sound astute

There is wisdom too.

Do not worry what others think.

You need to manage you.

If you do not, you and your daughter may suffer.

Be nice to you

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

NoybCasual Contributor05 May 2023, 8:14 pm AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Thank you

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

tymeModerator05 May 2023, 9:19 pm AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Hi @Noyb ,

Welcome to the forums. I can hear how confusing things are for you right now.

I'm wondering whether you would be interested in visiting Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script .

Please know you are not alone.

Kindest, tyme

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

les398Casual Contributor06 May 2023, 12:08 am AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

i dont agree sorry! i think you and your daughter should support her all the way, maybe she did what she did becuase of the lack of understanding and support from the people she loves the most, i fell into drugs, lost everything because my x wife left with everything including the kitchen sink and my 6 month old daughter, never let me see her for 2 years until court ordered her to, i been clean for 23 months now, new partner and we have a beautiful daughter together, i have supervised contact visits with my other daughter every 2 weeks, never give up on someone you love! and you should be teaching your daughter the same i think.

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

NoybCasual Contributor06 May 2023, 10:07 am AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

Sorry to hear your story. But my daughter is struggling with day to day living. As result of all this trauma. I don't want her to go down the same path. Everybody's story is different. There is also a history of abuse.. I am looking after her wellbeing and advice from professionals.

In response to: Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

NoybCasual Contributor06 May 2023, 10:13 am AEST

Re: New to this. Struggling a bit.

I have supported her for the past 25 years. It has not been easy. But the last 18 months have been unbearable. Tried getting help but she refused. What more could I do. If someone doesn't want help then there is not much you can do. So now I'm looking after my daughter who has suffered the past 17 years in house that is so toxic. Sounds selfish. But I don't want her to be another statistic.

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