My rambling page

I'm feeling really afraid today. Not sure why precisely not sure what is real. Had a nap woke up panicky. Just settling.

Everything just feels off and suss. I talked to some about being scared and they asked me to go into more detail. People keep doing that and I don't know why.

I know they know what my anxiety is about and I know they know I know they know.

Are you following me so far?

So I feel like what they are asking me to tell them is the story that isn't true.

I've tried to tell the true story so many times but to tell the truth I have to dip into the untrue story and the impact it has had even though it isn't true. People get stuck there.

So I just don't talk in specifics. It's not safe. It doesn't mean I not honest I am. It doesn't mean I am trying to hide anything it's so too late for that.

It just means I refuse to express the unreal and untrue story even to tell the true one.

It's just not something I can or will do anymore because it doesn't work and it doesn't help.

I refuse to feed the crap pile myself when I feel so many others have been doing that so well.

In the meantime, I am scared and feel yucky and confused but I'm just trying to put the right label on my feelings and not panic.

oh, @Gillie1 ...

@Kyle1 I'm in a lot of places at once today but the quote is a metaphor too. I express a lot through humour that isn't funny at the core but a way to get the message out.

I'm not sure what the Oh is in reference to though.

I'm reading a lot of posts today of people feeling awful. And I feel awful, too.

The "oh" is to empathise and wishing to hug you! 🫂 @Gillie1

@Kyle1 I hear you we are not in the "somethings not right " section because we're going cheeringly. I find being on here is like an open journal somewhere I can be myself and express myself as I need without talking to people which is much harder.

Maybe you need a change of pace for a while. Or maybe the Oh was a groan at my sense of humour, that works too. This is probably a busy day for the site and all support services.

MAKE SURE YOU DO SOME SELF CARE TOO.

Oh I shouted that but won't change it.

Take care

oh, I'm too lonesome to sign out yet... I may be a masochist, but here am i

Good, but there are more pleasant online spaces to be in just saying.

I find your contribution really helpful it's getting feedback knowing someone is listening. I don't get that being heard feeling often so thank you.

Loneliness is tough. Whatever works. If supporting others helps you that's a good thing. It is one of the DBT skills and all and helps build connection and community. While typing this my neighbour randomly dropped over and gave me 3 smokes She didn't even know I was hanging out for them. I forget who's out there sometimes. She brightened my arvo. Not everyone is scary.

Take care.

@Kyle1 Is there something we can talk about to lift your spirits today?

This may not help