Thought i would Introduce myself and my story

@Canine87

Your coworker is right. Waiting for someone to become attracted to you is not a reliable strategy. Attraction is not something that happens out of nowhere, but rather a result of displaying certain traits and behaviors. It's important to understand how to create sparks of attraction, which can then lead to developing a connection and potentially taking things to the next level.

However, it's also important to recognize that progress takes time and effort. Feeling like you're not making any progress with others is okay, as long as you're willing to reflect on your mistakes and continue to work on self-improvement. Building confidence takes practice, and it's something that comes with competence.

Remember, changing your mindset is key to changing your outcomes. Keep learning and seeking resources to improve your understanding of attraction dynamics and your own mistakes. With time and effort, you may have a breakthrough moment that makes everything clearer. Don't hesitate to reach out if you need any further support or guidance.

Yep. I feel some guidance is key.

For whatever reason, most girls dont like me. I have no idea why.

The girl i worked with, she is the first girl that is actually does what she says she will do (as in, says we will catch up, and delivers) Also its not me begging her to catch up either....i will float the idea of a catch up. (Once i was really depressed with work, and said can we catch up for dinner one night) "sure" i actually didnt mention it again, one thursday night she messaged me, and told me to meet her at nandos after work.

So you can see, why i am super attached to this girl (yes, i know thats not healthy)

As i said, its the kind and compassionate way she treats me, that and she is hilarious.

Every other girl i work with, i can guarantee if i asked for a catchup outside of work, it would be a no.

I will look at the links you provided before.

I had a rough day at work, so i am feeling quite blue now

@Canine87

If you don't mind, I'd like to explore a past experience with you that may still be affecting you today. It seems that when you were younger, a girl made a hurtful comment that you would never be able to get a girlfriend. It's possible that this experience planted a negative seed in your mind that has continued to grow and influence your self-perception. You may find yourself reinforcing this negative belief, thinking that most girls don't like you. But it's important to remember that negative thoughts can be self-perpetuating, and it's possible to break the cycle by reframing your experiences in a more positive light.

This concept can be broken down into three distinct levels. The first level is your thoughts, beliefs, and the interplay between positive and negative thoughts. It's important to recognize that even a small seed of thought can have a significant impact on the next level. The second level is your actions, habits, self-talk, and behaviors, all of which are influenced by the seeds planted in your mind. These patterns will continue to reinforce the seeds that have taken root, whether positive or negative. Finally, the third level is your outcomes, which can be characterized by wins, passes, or failures. It's important to recognize that these outcomes are not solely determined by external factors, but are also shaped by the seeds that have been planted at the earlier levels. By taking control of your thoughts, actions, and habits, you can cultivate positive outcomes and break the cycle of negative reinforcement.

It seems that you may not be achieving the outcomes you desire due to the influence of negative seeds that were planted in your mind since childhood, and how your habits and behaviors have reinforced these negative thought patterns over time. However, it's important to remember that you have the power to change these patterns by cultivating positive habits and behaviors, and by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. With time and effort, you can break free from the cycle of negative reinforcement and begin to achieve the outcomes that you truly desire.

I'd like to plant a new positive seed in your mind: You are capable of attracting the girl you desire. To make this a reality, it's essential to shift your mindset towards positivity and self-belief. By cultivating positive thoughts, you can begin to change your habits and behaviors, which will in turn attract positive outcomes. It's important to remember that change takes time and effort, but with the right mindset and positive seeds, you will begin to see the fruits of your hard work. Believe in yourself and your ability to create positive change in your life.

Rather than focusing on the negative thought that most girls don't like you, it's important to shift your mindset towards positivity. The belief that girls don't like you is just a seed that has been planted in your mind, and you have the power to uproot it and replace it with a positive one. Start by telling yourself that girls will like you, and focus on the journey towards achieving this goal. Remember that progress takes time, and it's important to stay committed and positive even when faced with setbacks. With a positive mindset, you will begin to see growth and progress towards your goal. Let go of negative beliefs and focus on the positive seeds that you can plant and nurture to achieve the outcomes you desire.

Instead of saying "I have no idea why girls don't like me," try shifting your mindset to a more positive one by saying "I am learning how to make girls like me." By planting this positive seed in your mind, you can begin to reinforce your actions, habits, and behaviors in a way that will make you more likable to women. As you gain confidence and experience, you will be able to proudly say that most girls like you and you know why. It's important to remember that this process takes time, effort, and a willingness to learn and grow. By maintaining a positive mindset and focusing on the steps needed to achieve your goal, you will be well on your way to creating positive outcomes in your relationships with women.

Maintaining a positive mindset is key to achieving positive outcomes in life. In any situation you find yourself in always imagine everything going the way you imagined. Always find the hope. Always think, say, and focus on the fact that there's a chance things could go well.

Now what are you doing to make your situation better?
Imagine and think of the things that you're doing that will make your future better. Imagine your future being better. Imagine things working out. Always focus on the hope and optimism. Then when you focus on what you are doing to make your situation better or figure out what you can do to make your situation better then you feel more hope, you feel more optimism and as a result you feel less and less anxious.

It's important to reflect on your self-perception and the identity you project to others. How you see yourself is often reflected in how others perceive you. Be conscious of the energy you're giving off and how it shapes your interactions. By focusing on improving your mindset and shifting your self-perception to a more positive one, you can attract better opportunities for forming meaningful relationships. Offering value to others and radiating positive energy can make you more attractive to people. Conversely, if you continue to hold on to negative and desperate feelings, you may repel others. Remember that people are drawn to positive energy, so it's important to prioritize self-care and continue working on yourself.

If you're looking for practical tips on various topics, check out Dan's YouTube channel where you'll find a wealth of helpful videos. Once you've finished exploring the previous videos I provided, here's another one that you might find useful.

A Woman's Attraction For You Can Be CREATED

How a Woman's Attraction For You Really Works

3 Examples of How to Flirt With a Coworker and Make Her Want You

Remember, the way you make a woman feel when she's around you or interacting with you is crucial. Take a close look at how you interact with women and observe how they respond to you. Learn from Dan Bacon's advice, make changes to the way you approach your interactions, and take note of the results. With practice, you'll begin to see a shift in their response, and you'll gain confidence in your interactions with women. By continuing this feedback loop, you'll make significant improvements in your interactions and become more successful in your relationships with women.

Understanding how sexual attraction works can make a big difference in your interactions with women. By learning how to spark attraction through your conversation style, confidence, humor, masculinity, and other factors, you'll begin to notice that more and more women are drawn to you. If you're looking for a romantic relationship rather than just friendship, it's important to learn how to create a spark of sexual attraction through your interactions. By mastering the art of attraction, you can create deeper, more meaningful connections with the women you meet.

You might come across as too neutral in your interactions, which can prevent any sparks from flying between you and the women you're interested in. If you want to improve your understanding of masculine and feminine energies in attraction and relationships, I recommend reading "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. It's important to embrace and cultivate your masculine energy in order to attract and maintain a healthy relationship with a woman.

@EmpoweredPath

Thank you so much!

To be totally honest, i will say something else about this girl i worked with.

She has bad depression, and obviously low self esteem as me. She used to say to me "im so ugly....." i worked on her for months, i would tell her "dont say that..it is not true" i also said "day you went to the drs with me, my jaw literally almost hit the floor, you just looked so pretty that day"

My positive reinforcement, made her give that guy a chance, which become her bf. (Only for a few weeks....) i on one hand, felt so sad i literally went through fits of crying, but at the same time; i felt good because i had actually helped someone in my life.

She credited the hugs i gave her when she left, as bringing her brick wall down. I tried something that night, i liked the way her hair looked. So i just said "i love your hair like that!" And i ran my fingers through the back of it. I expected her to give a physical or verbal cue; she didnt bat a eye at that. I joked "its so soft you obviously use conditoner"

So yes i have had some positive experiences with her. But, even as a friend she is just the most amazing person.

My main problem, and i know this. I treat woman with a great deal of respect. And if its someone i dont know etc, i will ask before i hug them. (I know some girls dont like hugs, one girl i work with really doesnt).

I went to a concert recently, with my coworkers son, and i have a huge crush on the lead singer, she is so pretty. I walked up and said "hi, is it ok if i give you a hug?" She looked at me, beamed a big smile, and said "yes its fine" i could tell she really appreciated i asked. She was very receptive to me afterwards, i assume because i showed her respect.

So i feel, because i am like this, it could stop any attraction with a girl, as i ask before i would do anything. I dunno, just the way i was brought up i suppose!

I will look at those links tonight...thanks so much

Great job, @Canine87! You're really starting to grasp the subtleties of your interactions, and there's a lot of fun to be had as you continue to learn and grow. I can see that you have a lot of potential and that you're willing to put in the work to make positive changes in your life. As you mentioned, we are often conditioned in certain ways as we grow up, but by becoming aware of these conditioning factors, we can begin to change them. By observing your interactions and recognizing any mistakes you may make, you'll gain a better understanding of how your past conditioning could be impacting your relationships and overall attraction. Keep up the great work!

Exciting times are ahead! Just like any skill, you have the ability to improve your abilities with women. Check out this informative Dan Bacon video, where he outlines the various stages of development and provides tips on how to become a master in this area. With dedication and practice, you can continue to improve your skills and achieve greater success in your interactions with women. So don't be afraid to invest in your personal growth and take advantage of the resources available to you!

What is Your Skill Level With Women? (Beginner, Amateur, Advanced, Master)

I want you to know that I am really proud of your progress so far. Keep up the good work, and never stop learning and growing. Remember to always have fun along the way and enjoy the journey. You're doing a great job, and I can't wait to see what amazing things you'll accomplish in the future.

@EmpoweredPath

Yep, its funny really, i would not have tried that with any other girl, but with her it was different. I asked her a weird question, i asked why she trusts me. She answered "because you opened up to me, you have to really trust someone to open up to them"

I have had girls i have known, as soon as i have opened up to them, they have always ran. So it took me a while to learn to trust this girl, but she has never betrayed my trust.

The girl in the band, her bf is also in the band, so i was being polite.

I will look at videos tonight. Thanks again

@EmpoweredPath

I have just started looking at the Dan Bacon video. (One you mentioned in above post).

So this girl who is my friend, she always does "breadcrumbing" either on purpose, or its just her personality.

The worst case of this, was the night she surprised me with dinner. I walked her back to her car, gave her a hug and then stepped back, about 1m. Next thing, She just lunged at me, and just grabbed me and hugged me the tightest i have ever been hugged in my life.

I left and went home upset, because i thought "she knows i have feelings for her" "this has left me very confused" i always said to her, if she wants something more, she has to cross that line. (She started joking about it, then said she did not think she would ever cross that line)

So my concern is, obviously she knows more about attraction than i do, and the signals, so if i did try something, i am thinking she would shut me down straight away.

She is a amazing person, i want something a little bit intimate, but actually not sexual if that makes sense. The whole time i have known her, i have had this urge to just sit next to her on the couch and just cuddle her, thats it. (I am not sure why....i cant explain it myself).

Do you have any input? It would be appreciated.

In other news, work was very stressful this week. I wasnt in a talking mood with my coworkers, and i had a day where i almost didnt converse at all. My workplace does that to me, one of my coworkers agreeded with me that it does that.

I am having a weekend at home, i know this may make me a little depressed. This is why i thought of watching the dan bacon videos. I have put phone on silent, and i have muted notifications, so i dont get interrupted by messanger.

Once again, any input appreciated!

@Canine87

Unfortunately, my previous response to you has been flagged for review, which means I may need to revise it before it can be posted. As I wait for the review, I'll share some additional thoughts with you on the topic of purpose.

In "The Way of the Superior Man," David Deida emphasizes the importance of a man's purpose as his top priority. He suggests that a clear sense of purpose can help motivate and guide a man's thoughts and actions, enabling him to direct his masculine energy towards achieving his goals and fulfilling his potential. Without a conscious life-purpose, a man may feel lost and drift aimlessly, adapting to events rather than creating them. This lack of purpose can lead to a weakened and impotent existence, even affecting a man's sexual vitality.

For a masculine man, identifying and committing to a purpose should take precedence over everything else. By peeling away layers and continually striving towards his mission, a man can discover an even deeper sense of purpose within himself. This can enable him to live a fulfilling life, tap into his masculine energy, and make a positive impact on the world.

It is important to note, however, that every man's sense of purpose will be unique to him. The key is to identify what matters most to you and dedicate yourself wholeheartedly to making progress towards that purpose every day. By doing so, you can cultivate your masculine potential and live a life that aligns with your values and goals.

@EmpoweredPath

Yes i totally agree with that. That is me at the moment.

I just feel like i am just existing...i dont feel like i get a lot of pleasure at the moment.

By that all i mean is, stuff that makes me emotionally happy. Only time i feel really happy is when i spend time with that girl, as we make each other laugh, and i get hugs. And i feel loved, even if its only as a friend.

Or when i spend time with my other mate. As we get on well, as well.

Or when i see that band i like. At the moment, these are the only things guaranteed to put a smile on my face.

I have had days, where sometimes i just sit there, and just think. And i end up worse for it. (This can be either at home on a weekend, if im not getting out somewhere, or when i am at work..doing a really boring task, like cleaning something).

I will watch the links you posted, and see if i can track down that book, either digitally or physically

@Canine87 I'm being mindful of avoiding prescriptive or opinionated advice in my response. Also, I'm trying to keep it concise this time, as my previous message was quite lengthy.

It's important to note that developing sexual attraction can be an important aspect of building intimacy, even if you don't want to be sexual. Without this initial spark, it may be challenging to form a deeper emotional connection. It is possible to develop attraction in various social situations with women by being attentive and socially aware. One way to achieve this is by using humor, which can help ease tension and build rapport, while also conveying confidence and charm. Practice can help you identify opportunities to create sparks of attraction during interactions.

It appears that your dinner with her was a pleasant surprise, and making playful jokes about it may create a lively atmosphere and build attraction. Using humor to make someone laugh and smile an be an effective way to establish a bond. If she hugged you tightly, you could playfully tease her and use humor to make her laugh, which can show confidence.

If you're feeling upset due to a situation involving breadcrumbing, you could use humor to create a more positive atmosphere. Using humor to demonstrate confidence and quick-wittedness can be an attractive quality. For example, if a woman is being unusually kind to you and taking you out to dinner, you could playfully question her motives by saying something like "Are you trying to pick me up?" or "Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?". Follow up with a playful remark such as "You must be up to something, aren't you?" to create a fun and flirtatious dynamic that can spark attraction.

Using playful teasing and humor can help demonstrate confidence and charm, which are attractive qualities. Establishing a connection through teasing can be a powerful way to build attraction. With practice, you can learn to use humor to create positive interactions and spark attraction, whether you're feeling confident or unsure. Consider using humor to build attraction during your interactions with women you're interested in. You can find some useful examples in Dan's blog post.

Some people believe that women are attracted to men who display emotional strength. Remaining calm in the face of challenges and uncertainty can help you come across as confident and composed. If a woman tests you, it may be to see if you truly possess the confidence you exhibit. Staying cool under pressure can make you more attractive to feminine women and better equipped to handle any situation that arises. Cultivating your masculine energy can also help. To attract the right partner, focus on developing your emotional strength and composure. Strive to let your confidence shine through in your interactions with women.

Building sexual tension can be an important step towards creating intimacy with someone you're attracted to. When there's strong sexual attraction between two people, it can create a foundation for intimacy to develop. However, it's important to build sexual tension in a way that aligns with your values and boundaries. Humor and flirting can be effective ways to build sexual tension, but it's up to you to decide what feels comfortable and authentic. Building sexual tension in a way that's true to yourself can help you attract the right kind of person and create a more meaningful connection.