Barely surviving

They are on until 10pm in my area and have been called out a few times for me @Flotsam very handy and far less traumatic! I really hope the program continues and gets extended out to other areas.

Hi again @Flotsam ,

I was just reading your post again, and the book you mentioned 'how to do the work' sounds counter productive. I grew up with the good old 'Protestant work ethic' but I think everybody has just learned to exploit that for their own advantage. It doesn't help when my loved ones think I'm the problem and I just need to 'harden up'. When you get pushed down so far and they keep piling the pressure on, what do they expect? I mean, I went to UK years ago and I'm a pretty laid back guy but I was working 30% harder than anyone else over there. Aussies all work hard, I don't think people realise how hard people work in this country and anywhere else in the world I would be above average. To think more work will fix our problems just doesn't cut it any more. Sometimes we have to let ourselves take a break and allow ourselves to 'recharge the batteries'.

@EternalFlower

I have quite a lot of support but by appointment, no peer workers today, no one I knew at all, I don’t think I need legal help as they didn’t hold me more than 8 hours. I have an IRO lawyer to help me deal with Allianz.

Hi @Flotsam what services did they discharge you to? I was held for about 15 hours and they said they'd visit me in my home after for next few days.

They then changed that when I got out to phone calls every day.

.in the end I got next to nothing.

I hope ur ok and get support somehow as the Ed is so traumatising and no one should be put through what you went through. It sounds like a tough and scary time. And unsettling.

@EternalFlower

I already had organised to meet up with someone from Next Steps, this Wednesday. The plan is to move from Community health suicide prevention to next steps). I currently have 2 psychologist (1 for EMDR and the other to help me through this, I have been seeing her for more than a year), I have a treating psychiatrist and my gp will make me an appointment urgently if needed.

I am doing everything I can to be here when all this distress is a memory, but I have never had to fight so hard against SI before.

I’m not sure I have much to offer you @Flotsam only to agree with the others. I had a similar incident a few months ago and was scheduled for 3 days. It wasn’t pleasant with the police being involved.

Do you have an acute care team in your area? Ours is 24/7 but I’ve had to be careful with how much I tell them.

Sending a squishy hug 🫂 and how lovely that you have a wedding to look forward to.

💜🤗💜

@Eve7

I called the mental health line today, they were pretty useless. I spent more than an hour outside with my horses this morning, tried to do some other self care activities and even bathed today, yet they kept telling me to get outside or do intense exercise. I have barely got off the couch in 3 months and had already done way more than I have managed for so long.

It’s really frustrating when I know how much I did to be told it’s not enough, to do more. I didn’t, I just got more upset and thought of more ways (SI). Then a friend called, we talked for more than an hour and I am calmer now, I think I can make it through today.

Sometimes @Flotsam one friend can be enough 💜

Remember the line in Crocodile Dundee where Mick says. “In Australia we have mates…” I am trying to keep a couple of friends close enough to call for a friendly chat and cuppa. Often I don’t tell them anything. They have saved me without even knowing.

Sitting with you and well done for accomplishing so much today! Horses are very healing.

@EternalFlower

No, not just now, the local suicide prevention team discharged me after a week, saying there is only so much they can do. My reaction to that was visceral, I made a plan and collected resources, I just happened to have a drs appointment and I told her, so my resources were removed.

I am really ready to be done with the pain, barely holding onto any reason to stay, feeling worthless and without hope with so many reasons to go. I take my meds, I get up, shower, went outside for a while, did some somatic techniques, had some herbal tea, ate a pretty healthy breakfast, even used my distress box, lavender oil, etc. but it does nothing to the way I feel no matter how hard I try. I feel like I am fighting everyday just to exist in pain. I have never gone through anything like this before and I keep reaching out just for someone to talk things through.

oh @Flotsam ,

I'm so so so sorry to hear how much pain you are in. I can only imagine living with chronic pain as I've only ever experienced chronic emotional pain - that was hard enough!

Is there something you think the forums will be able to help you with? e.g. some form of distraction? A way of venting? A way of connecting?

You are not alone.