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Want to forget TW

Want to forget TW

Sometimes we can be enjoying the simplest and nicest of things and we are reminded of our past. For me that came yesterday. I was lucky enough to be attending a concert - something on it's own that would have been tricky for me in the past but it was a Christmas present and I was actually looking forward to it. It was a beautiful day and we had found a great position to set up for the day and evening. About half way through the day I had someone tap me on the shoulder - it was actually a nice surprise as it was someone I knew but had not seen in a few years. I knew his Mum - she both taught me and also was in the same sporting club many years later, and I taught his daughter. His Mum passed away a several years ago and we stayed in contact for a while afterwards. This is a person I actually like - he has been through some tough times and I think we connected on that level as well previously.

The conversation was lovely and we were all laughing together (in such a lovely way that I have not laughed for a long time) then out of the blue he brought up someone I absolutely detest. I don't know where it came from as this person is older than both of us but I suppose I should not be surprised as we all grew up in similar circles. He tried to continue the conversation but I could not help but say just how I felt about this person and could we change the subject. My sister was also there and to begin with she was going to have a go at me for being so direct but I think she then cottoned on to just how uncomfortable I was feeling and maybe knew why. This person was not one of those that had abused me for so long as a child but he was no doubt aware of it as he made my life just as impossible when he was around. I was just a kid but that did not stop the comments and implications directed towards me. I was just as scared of this person as the boys involved.

I had just the previous day spoke to my psych about leaving things in the past and then something like this happens. We had talked about what I do when triggered but this was an exception circumstance. I cannot generally hide the pain when it is so bad - I felt so sick at the time. I know my sister picked up on it but my old acquaintance was drinking a bit so really did not ...I am actually grateful for that.

Last night was a really hard night once I got home. To make it worse - I have been sick today and had to come home even before the day started at work - so there have been a lot of tears, a lot of sleeping and a lot of thoughts swimming around. I am having tomorrow off as well - whether I am well enough to be there or not physically, I know I am mentally not. This has been a massive hit and I can feel the effects both physically and mentally. I know it will pass in time but I feel that so much has been happening over the last year or so that my cup is empty.

From here I am unsure 'where to next'. I can feel the world closing in around me - yesterday is probably a culmination of so different emotions, so much grief, so much loss and so much to keep wading through. The beginning of this was 2 weeks ago when I saw a new pdoc and had to go through so much in such a small space of time. I felt okay in the moment doing so but it is always afterwards that it hits. My psych acknowledged this and just how hard it would have been ...I went straight back to work after the pdoc appointment and my psych has no idea how I had gotten the strength to do so - I don't either because it was incredibly hard ...but like most things - I push it away and try not to deal with it ...the result is I am where I am now - triggered massively by what happened yesterday, finding my head all over the place and wondering how I am going to find that place I was once at. ...it will be okay but a little extra support right now would help.

248 replies

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In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I completely understand why you cannot have another cat @Owlunar Whilst you would undoubtedly love the companionship again, with your shoulder and pain you do not know when you are going to need that extra support or time away to treat it. Any cat would be lucky to have you but your health comes first.

I love you being my Mumma bear Hon - nurture away. My breathing is so much better - just tired now. I am planning on going to a PD I have been enrolled in tomorrow and then back to school of Thursday. Tomorrow is a full day so I am a bit concerned how I will get through it but I will take breaks when needed and hope to get through it as best I can. Thursday I can do some fun things with the kids and then Friday I work part of the day with my neighbouring teacher so will let her take the lead to lighten my load a little. We have it all planned from last week as I was away so that will carry over until this week.

My GP bulk bills me as I am on both a MH plan and a Chronic Disease Management plan. I also have private health but am fortunate that most care is covered under medicare. Private health is so expensive but I think I have already gotten most of it back through dental work this year ...could not have afforded it without private health.

In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Owlunar,

Thank you for tagging me in your post, I really enjoyed reading about your younger years and the people that were part of it. It sounds like you have a wide variety of interests and really enjoy learning. Brag away I say! There's nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements and your keenness to learn 🙂.

I feel for you around wanting another cat. Your companion cat sounded lovely - it is a shame if you can't get another cat but I do agree, when pets get sick it can be challenging and we know no matter how cute our fur babies are they can also be a lot of work.

I hope you get your domestic help situation sorted. It does sound a bit complicated. I found more and more these days trying to get answers from government departments / big companies is really challenging. It's like everyone wants to pass the buck.

I hope you are doing well and the week ahead is a kind one for you.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7,

Just wondering how you are feeling today? Hope you are doing a lot better.

I can just imagine Toby chasing Clover up the hall and `skating'. My pugs do it sometimes too - it's like their back feet go out from under them. It would so funny to see!

My pugs never get hurt when they play chasing games either - sometimes I think they play chasing's in part for their own amusement and in part to get attention from us lol.

I hope the day is being kind to you and you are doing well.

Love to you and your furbubs 💖

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Thanks @FloatingFeather

I never had a good relationship with my mother - still - better than that - I had wonderful relationships with my father, my mother's mother, my father's parents - they were all British or Irish immigrants - and my father's brothers who were not much older than myself. My life was pretty full.

When I was 8 I would be given a shilling - 10 cents - and sent to the local picture theatre - the first time Dad walked the mile or so and showed me how to buy a ticket and where to sit and to come straight home afterwards. The shilling bought my seat for about 3 hours of entertainment and an ice-cream to walk home with. I found my classmates there. During winter it would be nearly dark before I got home. I liked this but wonder - I would not have let my children do that.

A couple of years later my brother and I were given pocket money and started to ride trams and then trains - first it was a different picture theatre because we had moved - then we travelled further to another theatre and in time found picture theatres in the city. We were still not teenagers. By the time we were in our teens the two of us were seeing more and more of Melbourne - this was back in the 1950s and the world must have seemed a safer place. We didn't get into trouble though we knew that was possible - we lived on two different police stations and knew more about the shady lives of some people most people. I guess it was a terrific time to be around then - it gave me a good start in learning my way around though - I spent years working in the city - it was a good life.

I do still miss my old cat - I had her for 15 wonderful years - she was the world to me and I was the whole world to her. I was finding her hard to manage with my increasing arthritis - when she got sick - rather than put her through tests for an age-related disorder I took the vet's advice to have her put to sleep. I think she knew her time had come - before that time she would resist getting into her cage - that day she saw it and ran into it herself. I knew it was the end - humans have to endure old age at times - pets do not - that is one blessing. Her name was Sparky - I didn't post her name often - everyone around here knew her - now they would have forgotten - I doubt I would be identified that way now.

The Government and agencies are on the take - that is for sure - I have been reading the invoices sent to me and I am an accountant by profession - they made little sense when they should have. I am fed up with the system - even the thought of getting out of it mean someone else will confronted with it. My case worker actually said "they" would bleed me dry until I was forced into the public system dependent on the pension. My parents lived into their 90s so I don't think I will get out of this world quickly - so I have to maintain my rights to my choices while I have them. To me - having choices is everything.

I'm still waiting for a phone call - tomorrow I will try again - I had better not get anyone coming tomorrow - I did my best to make sure I don't run up any more charges yesterday.

Tomorrow has to be better - I am a bit washed out after all of that yesterday and last week - I am getting my hair cut tomorrow and I like to catch the bus to the local shopping centre and walk around - perhaps even walk to the beach.

I have a good attitude. I did a resilience test for my pain specialist - I got the highest possible score - my supportive extended family made up for the problems with my mother. I am who I am because of and in spite of the circumstances of my childhood.

Thanks - Floating Feather

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7

I love being a Mumma Bear - it has been a long time since I have really had that role - my daughter is still silent - I hope she's not still sulking - she has "privacies" I don't really understand - especially as those rights are not extended to me. Aah - she will get over herself I suppose. I am concerned about her health - also - I don't think she that rapt that she is attending the same pain clinic - different specialist. She just doesn't want to talk about it and I am naturally concerned.

So - I am glad you are taking it gradually in getting back to work - I don't know what a PD is - I need to be educated in that area - though I do understand about your easy start in a fun day with the kids and then sharing your load on Friday - and it's Easter next week - we put the clocks back this coming weekend too.

I always feel a bit jet-lagged when this happens. I do like autumn best - it was a cloudy start this morning - a beautiful afternoon - the stress with My Aged Care is taking its toll so I am taking it easy today - and I was yesterday. Yesterday I fell asleep during The Chase Australia - I missed it - oh no - I look forward to it every day and weekends are without it.

Anyway - my life does keep moving along - there is always something to deal with. I like time to myself -

All the best Zoe

Owlunar.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@FloatingFeather You would have been well and truly finished for the day by now - hope you are enjoying a lovely evening with family and fur babies 💖

I am feeling much better today - still very tired but am going to go to my PD tomorrow and see how I go. I have slept most of today so I am not sure I will make it through tomorrow - depends how boring it is.

Toby does the same - his little back legs spread out like an eagle and he crashes into the front door. Then I hear him try to right himself with his little legs going a hundred miles an hour up the hallway. It is very funny to watch and always makes me laugh. Clover just hides in her room where he cannot get to her and then runs out and pounces on him when he least expects it - she is undoubtedly the smart one in our family LOL

@Owlunar I have the opposite issue with my Mum - she wants to know everything but will tell me nothing and then wonder why I get annoyed with her. I understand she cares but there are also times she just has to respect my privacy also. It is not nice for your daughter to be silent with you though so I feel for you there.

PD is professional development - I think it is now called PL (professional learning) The problem with both is we usually have to do things that are quite generic and as a whole school. That often means it is not of interest to me or I have already done it before - and that is sooooo boring. This PD tomorrow is one I haven't done so I am hoping I get something out of it.

Yes Autumn is nearly upon us Hon - I love Autumn too ...the changes in the weather and reduced daylight hours not so much but the beauty of the changing landscape, especially the colours of the leaves are gorgeous.

I hope you didn't miss The Chase today. It is not one I like but I am not into game shows at all. Sport is my thing - which I know you are not into.

I also hope the Aged Care stuff is getting sorted. It is draining having to deal with so much stress over something that should be so simple. Bureaucracy at it's best hey 😔

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@Owlunar @FloatingFeather I made it to the PD but am now exhausted. My back is bad too as I have been sitting on a 'not so comfortable seat' all day. The PD itself was worthwhile but I would have gotten even more out of it if I was feeling better. We are going to be sent the presentation so I will have more time to delve into parts of it deeper later down the track.

I am planning on going to work tomorrow - I do miss the kids - but I also have a lot to catch up on so that will be the next mission ....but that can wait until tomorrow and the next few days. Then a few days next week before Easter and our school holidays ...I am going to need a rest to continue to improve but will also need to do a lot of work to catch up and be ready for next term ....but for tonight - rest and an early night is about all I am up for.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Owlunar,

Sorry for the delayed response, I'm only on the Forums a few days a week.

Thank you for sharing some of your story - I'm sorry to read you didn't have the best relationship with your mother but it does sound like you had a lot of wonderful people in your life which supported and cared for you.

When you talk about going to the pictures and shillings you reminded me of things my mum says. She also loved going to the pictures and watching all the amazing, old classic movies. She spent many a wonderful day watching movies back to back at the local picture theatre.

I agree with you, the 1950s sounds like it would have been an amazing time to grow up. A dear old friend of mine told me about the day WWII was declared over and how they celebrated in the streets in Sydney. It's a little sad that young people don't know that world and that sense of freedom.

I'm sorry to read about Sparky (what a great name). It sounds like she was a very loved and cherished fur baby for you - 15 years is a great age for a cat but I know that still doesn't make it better. I have had quite a few pets over the years (chickens, rabbits, dogs, cockatiels etc.) - all very important to me and sadly missed.

I hope you heard from Centrelink and your are able to get your financial situation sorted out once and for all.

Always nice to chat with you - hope your week ahead is a nice one.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7,

I hope you are feeling a bit better now. It was really good that you got to the PD but I understand what you mean around not being able to fully get the most out of something when you aren't feeling 100%.

It is good that Easter and the school holidays are coming up so that you can have a rest and catch your breath. Hopefully this break will be filled with things you enjoy and a lot of `me' time.

Can't quite believe it's Friday again ... the weeks sure go faster as I get older.

Hope the weekend is a lovely one for you.

FloatingFeather ❤️

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Still exhausted @FloatingFeather Got through the two days at work but pretty much slept as soon as I got home. Going to be a very quiet weekend - have some work I have to get done but I will have to space it out as I am just too tired to do it all at once as I would usually do. Toby will be pleased though as he will have plenty of snuggle time.

I cannot believe it is nearly Easter either - this term seems to have flown by whilst also feeling very long ...I think that is because there have been so many issues to deal with combined with illness. I am very much looking forward to the break to try to recover. I am not planning on doing much as I don't think I will have the energy.

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