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Want to forget TW

Want to forget TW

Sometimes we can be enjoying the simplest and nicest of things and we are reminded of our past. For me that came yesterday. I was lucky enough to be attending a concert - something on it's own that would have been tricky for me in the past but it was a Christmas present and I was actually looking forward to it. It was a beautiful day and we had found a great position to set up for the day and evening. About half way through the day I had someone tap me on the shoulder - it was actually a nice surprise as it was someone I knew but had not seen in a few years. I knew his Mum - she both taught me and also was in the same sporting club many years later, and I taught his daughter. His Mum passed away a several years ago and we stayed in contact for a while afterwards. This is a person I actually like - he has been through some tough times and I think we connected on that level as well previously.

The conversation was lovely and we were all laughing together (in such a lovely way that I have not laughed for a long time) then out of the blue he brought up someone I absolutely detest. I don't know where it came from as this person is older than both of us but I suppose I should not be surprised as we all grew up in similar circles. He tried to continue the conversation but I could not help but say just how I felt about this person and could we change the subject. My sister was also there and to begin with she was going to have a go at me for being so direct but I think she then cottoned on to just how uncomfortable I was feeling and maybe knew why. This person was not one of those that had abused me for so long as a child but he was no doubt aware of it as he made my life just as impossible when he was around. I was just a kid but that did not stop the comments and implications directed towards me. I was just as scared of this person as the boys involved.

I had just the previous day spoke to my psych about leaving things in the past and then something like this happens. We had talked about what I do when triggered but this was an exception circumstance. I cannot generally hide the pain when it is so bad - I felt so sick at the time. I know my sister picked up on it but my old acquaintance was drinking a bit so really did not ...I am actually grateful for that.

Last night was a really hard night once I got home. To make it worse - I have been sick today and had to come home even before the day started at work - so there have been a lot of tears, a lot of sleeping and a lot of thoughts swimming around. I am having tomorrow off as well - whether I am well enough to be there or not physically, I know I am mentally not. This has been a massive hit and I can feel the effects both physically and mentally. I know it will pass in time but I feel that so much has been happening over the last year or so that my cup is empty.

From here I am unsure 'where to next'. I can feel the world closing in around me - yesterday is probably a culmination of so different emotions, so much grief, so much loss and so much to keep wading through. The beginning of this was 2 weeks ago when I saw a new pdoc and had to go through so much in such a small space of time. I felt okay in the moment doing so but it is always afterwards that it hits. My psych acknowledged this and just how hard it would have been ...I went straight back to work after the pdoc appointment and my psych has no idea how I had gotten the strength to do so - I don't either because it was incredibly hard ...but like most things - I push it away and try not to deal with it ...the result is I am where I am now - triggered massively by what happened yesterday, finding my head all over the place and wondering how I am going to find that place I was once at. ...it will be okay but a little extra support right now would help.

248 replies

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In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I really hope you get a cancelled dentist appointment @Zoe7. It's surprising how much a broken tooth can cause so much pain and hassle. Does sounds like it might be a juggle with the parent-teacher interviews though. I do hope some how that you manage to get your tooth sorted sooner than later.

What a shame the challenging teacher is making things hard for everyone. Considering how much time we spend at work it would be so good if it was as peaceful and harmonious for everyone. Hopefully the meeting on Friday will bring some positive results / changes for you all. Fingers crossed the difficult teacher either gets on board with how you all work or at least doesn't make things so challenging for you all.

Hope the parent teacher interviews go well 🙂

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Been a very difficult few weeks @FloatingFeather The upside is my tooth is finally fixed.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I'm sorry to read the last few weeks have been difficult for you @Zoe7 - I really do hope things pick up for you soon. I'm glad to read your tooth is finally sorted, that's a silver lining. Hopefully that silver lining is just one of the first stepping stones towards things getting so much better for you.

FloatingFeather ❤️

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Tooth fixed is the silver lining @FloatingFeather but also have covid. Thought I was starting to improve this morning but it has hit me hard tonight. Hopefully the medication kicks in quickly and gives me some relief.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

COVID @Zoe7

Oh no! This is something no one needs - I'm really sorry that you have to have a serve of it and I hope you can recover quickly and well.

I tend to forget about it a lot of the time - of course I have to wear a mask at the GP or the pain clinic - and I have found bunches of used masks in the bottom of my bag now and again - sometimes I think they haven't been used.

My 5th vaccination was last weekend - hard to believe I have had 5. I'm in my senior years and a pro-vaxer - I am sure you have been vaccinated too - so it's so unlucky to catch it.

It's good that you have had your tooth repaired, that took a while - I know you were taking a break - I'm glad to see you again - and I hope you feel better really soon.

Sending my best thoughts

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I have managed to (luckily) avoid it until now @Owlunar Have half my class away unwell over the last week so I am not surprised. It has hit me pretty hard but I seem to be through the worst of it now. Yesterday I was close to going to hospital because of my breathing but that has also improved slightly so the medication must be working.

I did need a break - so much talk of SH and SI lately and combined with some other issues and my own things to deal with, it has been too much. I know you very much understand where I am coming from.

Better feed the fur babies then lay down again. Always lovely to hear from you 💖

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7 - again.

I am sure you would have it harder with covid because you have other health issues - and I guess you are taking anti-viral medication - hopefully you will be over it soon.

Because you are working with children it would make it easier for you to catch. When my kids would come home with virulent colds - their Dad and I would catch them and aw - they would be really bad colds. Kids share bugs around with apparent immunity sometimes - and head lice - ooh - icky.

Yeah - I get it really well about the SI and SH - it's strange that what I think are perfectly harmless words will get picked up by the Hypertext - but not those expressions - I really can't help those people - but when someone is bereaved by suicide I am right there - whether I am useful or not - it doesn't matter - I like my platform and I like to feel in charge of it.

Take it easy and recover but take your time. I've been exposed to covid twice - the vaccination seemed to work - I got sick of using RATs all the time after exposure - still - I would have isolated myself if necessary. I sort of live that way anyway - not because of covid but because of my bad shoulder.

It's good you are back - I missed you.

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Thanks @Owlunar I miss you when you are not here too 💖

Funny you should mention head lice - we have had that go through our class as well. It seems like most of my class has been away lately with either that or COVID. It is certainly not what I needed after the last few weeks but it is what it is.

I agree about some words being picked up with hypertext but not others. I think the whole system needs a big overhaul it what words/phrases/acronyms, etc. get through whilst others don't. There also needs to be variations that are rejected as well as when letters are substituted for symbols etc.

A lovely day here today so I am going to spend some time outside with my fur babies. It is a little frustrating I cannot do anything on such a lovely day but need more time to recover.

I hope your shoulder is okay today and you are otherwise well 💕

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7

I hope you are gradually improving in health - there are a lot of things we don't need and surely covid is among the top things - if your kids brought it into the classroom you would catch it for sure - they can't help it - still - that doesn't make it any easier.

Head lice - actually I believe they like clean hair - and I have a story - when do I not have a story?

It was a Friday afternoon - my son was in prep - I had to do everything I needed to before he came home from school - I was doing my first HSC subject - I wanted to finish my essay before the weekend because I dared not take my attention away from my son - and not because I was a helicopter parent - I had to be on the ball.

I got a phone call from the school to pick him up early because he had head lice - I needed to get a nit comb and a bottle of something that kills them - I got all of that and he had three little cooties and no nits - his hair was so thick and curly the nit comb wouldn't go through it and of course - with his black hair I would have seen anything.

The next day in 45 C heat his father and I cleaned the house from top to bottom and that was totally unnecessary. I still remember that time with a feeling of angst. Most of it was unnecessary. But it happens. Oh boy!

The hypertext - yes - it needs reframing. Also - I wonder about any situation making efforts to be totally inclusive. In my opinion the more inclusion would cause more exclusion - in any situation. I think cliques would develop and they can be excluding also. Sometimes people try too hard to do the right thing - and the right thing has to be good. Bottom line - moderation in all things including moderation. Regardless - hostility exists.

I have to live my life around my shoulder - the treatment seems to be working but the pain can spike - that is something I can't ignore. It has been cloudy and a bit humid today with a wet week forecast. I would like to be able to just go out when I feel like it - I am just glad to get to my appointments. I have been travelling on the bus more and that's easier than taxis just to go to the local shopping centre to have my hair cut or see the optometrist. I had a busy week and it went so fast - I enjoy my life in spite of the pain - I read a great deal.

I am getting out of My Aged Care - I don't like it and it is a very confusing issue to deal with. I keep asking questions and everyone says something different. I have finally worked it out - no one knows what's happening. My decision is to keep on top of things as I can and pay privately when I need to have someone do what I cannot. It would be cheaper. I like to have control over my affairs. And - the big AND!!! It will be great not to have support workers - they vary - the last one was mystical - a lovely lady - still - I could never find anything after she had gone - I spent today putting things where I want them and feel glad - really glad - to have this phase of my life over.

That might sound bad but after months of confusion I am really happy with my decision. Tomorrow I am going to tell my provider - it will be over.

The weather is always a safe subject. I hope your weather is better than what is forecast for Melbourne. Summer went so fast. It's nearly Easter - you will have holidays which hopefully give you time to recover from covid.

I'm sending my love Zoe and wish you and your fur-babies the best possible week

Owlunar.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Owlunar There is so much in your above post I agree with. Like you, I often reflect on (and can be quite vocal about) inclusion. Often the more we try to include certain groups, we begin excluding others. It is my personal belief that we treat each and every individual as just that - individual. When we start grouping people together, making allowances for 'groups' and 'putting people in boxes', we effectively label them and align characteristics to them without treating them as their own person and as individuals with their own worth, own experiences, own challenges and own value in this world. As an example, a classroom is a micro version of this. We cannot give the same work to every single child and expect them to do that work the same. They all have their strengths and we need to work with those for the best outcomes for each child. I have children with dyslexia, needing glasses to read, are very creative or analytical, etc. - each one needs a different approach and require different outcomes. That does not mean they are treated any differently but the approach to their work and the outcomes I expect are different. I have an individual plan for each of my children and whilst that is a lot of work, it also allows them to work in their best possible way to achieve success for themselves.

On a personal note, I am improving. I am still very tired but my breathing has improved so that is really positive. I will not be rushing back to work tomorrow though as I don't think I could physically get through the day. So today I will try to do a few things around the house knowing I can rest when needed and do the same tomorrow ...then Wednesday I have a PD to attend (which I am hoping I will be okay to attend) and back to school on Thursday. That is the plan but if I need more time then I will absolutely take it.

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