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Want to forget TW

Want to forget TW

Sometimes we can be enjoying the simplest and nicest of things and we are reminded of our past. For me that came yesterday. I was lucky enough to be attending a concert - something on it's own that would have been tricky for me in the past but it was a Christmas present and I was actually looking forward to it. It was a beautiful day and we had found a great position to set up for the day and evening. About half way through the day I had someone tap me on the shoulder - it was actually a nice surprise as it was someone I knew but had not seen in a few years. I knew his Mum - she both taught me and also was in the same sporting club many years later, and I taught his daughter. His Mum passed away a several years ago and we stayed in contact for a while afterwards. This is a person I actually like - he has been through some tough times and I think we connected on that level as well previously.

The conversation was lovely and we were all laughing together (in such a lovely way that I have not laughed for a long time) then out of the blue he brought up someone I absolutely detest. I don't know where it came from as this person is older than both of us but I suppose I should not be surprised as we all grew up in similar circles. He tried to continue the conversation but I could not help but say just how I felt about this person and could we change the subject. My sister was also there and to begin with she was going to have a go at me for being so direct but I think she then cottoned on to just how uncomfortable I was feeling and maybe knew why. This person was not one of those that had abused me for so long as a child but he was no doubt aware of it as he made my life just as impossible when he was around. I was just a kid but that did not stop the comments and implications directed towards me. I was just as scared of this person as the boys involved.

I had just the previous day spoke to my psych about leaving things in the past and then something like this happens. We had talked about what I do when triggered but this was an exception circumstance. I cannot generally hide the pain when it is so bad - I felt so sick at the time. I know my sister picked up on it but my old acquaintance was drinking a bit so really did not ...I am actually grateful for that.

Last night was a really hard night once I got home. To make it worse - I have been sick today and had to come home even before the day started at work - so there have been a lot of tears, a lot of sleeping and a lot of thoughts swimming around. I am having tomorrow off as well - whether I am well enough to be there or not physically, I know I am mentally not. This has been a massive hit and I can feel the effects both physically and mentally. I know it will pass in time but I feel that so much has been happening over the last year or so that my cup is empty.

From here I am unsure 'where to next'. I can feel the world closing in around me - yesterday is probably a culmination of so different emotions, so much grief, so much loss and so much to keep wading through. The beginning of this was 2 weeks ago when I saw a new pdoc and had to go through so much in such a small space of time. I felt okay in the moment doing so but it is always afterwards that it hits. My psych acknowledged this and just how hard it would have been ...I went straight back to work after the pdoc appointment and my psych has no idea how I had gotten the strength to do so - I don't either because it was incredibly hard ...but like most things - I push it away and try not to deal with it ...the result is I am where I am now - triggered massively by what happened yesterday, finding my head all over the place and wondering how I am going to find that place I was once at. ...it will be okay but a little extra support right now would help.

248 replies

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In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Yeah @Eve7 Already put yesterday behind me 👍 Sleep certainly helped but need plenty of rest this weekend as I am still pretty tired and weak. I have been out to Bunnings with Tobes - a very quick trip to get one thing. I didn't even bother to get a trolley - just carried Tobes in with me lol

I am going to lay on the couch and watch a series I have been watching this afternoon to both rest and give my back some relief. I have an appointment on Monday with my GP so will be able to get the pain killers that help.

I hope gs2 has run with his race (and even wins) and that you have gotten some uni work out of the way 💜💜💜

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Thanks for asking, I am going OK at the moment @Zoe7 🙂

(I'm usually only around in the early mornings on the forums - it's something my psychologist advised when I burnt out on here in 2020. She has also limited my time on here)

I'm glad you got some rest yesterday afternoon and hope you slept OK and can rest some more today... 💚

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

We do opposite ends of the day @NatureLover lol Mornings are hectic for me with getting ready for work and sorting out the fur babies. Once I get things organised in the evenings then I usually have more time ....but some days they are full on as well (depending on how much work I need to do).

I remember when you joined us and understand you needing to put those boundaries in place ...we all need to look after ourselves first otherwise we cannot fully be present for others. It can be a fine line sometimes but so important for our own wellbeing.

I have a lot of work to do today after not getting much done yesterday ...but I had rest and plenty of fur baby cuddles so that was nice.

In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7

I am glad things are settling down - and that the weekend has given you some time to catch up with yourself. It's so obvious that you love your job and the kids - you need good health too - and I know you work on that.

I'm sorry your back is giving you trouble - that can really wear you down. I hope your doctor gives you the medication you need - he does know you very well I think - and that now the past is where it belongs for now that it will stay there for a while.

I have been thinking about you a lot - and hoping some time out is giving you time to heal. Having someone you are friends with complaining about someone else you know is not at all pleasant. Our boundaries are important - we need to know when to move the line in the sand about all of that - after all - the line is in the sand and can be moved - it's not set in concrete after all - at least I hope that's the case.

Recently I have been limiting my time writing here because of my shoulder - still I have been reading a lot while resting it - using my phone - and yes - responding to new subjects if I feel I have something useful to say is an experience - I found one really great person - so this is really positive.

All the best for tomorrow - with your class and with your friend and with your GP - ouch - it sounds like a big day.

Best thoughts

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW


@Zoe7 wrote:

We do opposite ends of the day @NatureLover lol


Yes, I seem to do opposite ends of the day with most people, both on here and IRL too @Zoe7 . It means that when people are in crisis on here in the evenings /nights I'm not aware or available for them, sadly 😞 But the time schedule works for me, so that is what I go with. I feel most positive in the early mornings.


@Zoe7 wrote:

I remember when you joined us and understand you needing to put those boundaries in place ...we all need to look after ourselves first otherwise we cannot fully be present for others. It can be a fine line sometimes but so important for our own wellbeing.


Yes, I know you understand, and you model that self care well.

I hope you got the work done you needed to yesterday, and I'm really glad you got some rest in on both days. Sending wishes that this week is much better for you 💚

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@Zoe7 You talking about neighbouring teachers in conflict made me have a bit of think about my own life and why I feel lonely lately. I find whenever I speak to people recently, they always have to go through their life problems with me and I never get to hear anything inspiring.

I have to remind myself why i am friends with these people in the first place and it's all give and take. They may be down now but when i am down, they may be up and help me out. It certainly sucks listening to so many people not only in conflict with others at the moment, but in conflict with themselves and angry because they think what ever the decision they make is not the right one. Big Reveal.. there is no right decision...

Anyways rant over. Hope you sleep well tonight.

In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7,

I hope this message finds you a bit better - sorry for the delayed response but it's my first day on since Friday. I can understand why you would find it so draining being stuck between the two next door teachers - it can be exhausting trying to play peacemaker. Two of my best friends regularly fallout with each other and both of them complain to me. Whilst I will listen and support as much as I can after a while I tell them I can't take play mediator anymore. They are adults, they made the mess and they can clean it up. I agree with you that your friend should speak to the person that can really do something to help - the principal.

Plus as you said when we are already emotionally depleted I think it's important to conserve our energy and retreat to recharge - sometimes we just need to prioritise ourselves above anything else.

Thank goodness for your beautiful kids and fur babies - sounds like the perfect remedy!

Warms wishes,

FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@Owlunar @NatureLover @AussieRecharger @FloatingFeather @Eve7 Finally some relief this evening after seeing my GP. Hoping to also get some more sleep tonight 🤞

I am trying not to think too far ahead but also know that if my friend starts again about her colleague teacher then I am going to find it difficult to listen to. I both hear and understand her concerns (I have similar) but I have to work with them both so do not want to be stuck in the middle. My anxiety certainly increases towards the end of the week and that is not fair on me. I have spoken to my team leader about the situation so she is aware that it is affecting more than just the two of them. The downside of being the only fulltime teacher on the team is there are a lot of changes throughout the week.

Just broke a tooth so will have to come back here later...

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Thinking of you @Zoe7 ....

Oh no re the tooth!!!!!

I'll wait to hear from you...

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7

I'd like to write more - alas - my shoulder is objecting.

It's a great pity that some people don't realise the impact what they say on other people not really involved - yes - that is hard

But your tooth - oh no - I guess that means a trip to the dentist - I hope it can be fixed

Catch up soon - I just came in to read as I do often - I had to reply to this though

Owlunar

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