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Want to forget TW

Want to forget TW

Sometimes we can be enjoying the simplest and nicest of things and we are reminded of our past. For me that came yesterday. I was lucky enough to be attending a concert - something on it's own that would have been tricky for me in the past but it was a Christmas present and I was actually looking forward to it. It was a beautiful day and we had found a great position to set up for the day and evening. About half way through the day I had someone tap me on the shoulder - it was actually a nice surprise as it was someone I knew but had not seen in a few years. I knew his Mum - she both taught me and also was in the same sporting club many years later, and I taught his daughter. His Mum passed away a several years ago and we stayed in contact for a while afterwards. This is a person I actually like - he has been through some tough times and I think we connected on that level as well previously.

The conversation was lovely and we were all laughing together (in such a lovely way that I have not laughed for a long time) then out of the blue he brought up someone I absolutely detest. I don't know where it came from as this person is older than both of us but I suppose I should not be surprised as we all grew up in similar circles. He tried to continue the conversation but I could not help but say just how I felt about this person and could we change the subject. My sister was also there and to begin with she was going to have a go at me for being so direct but I think she then cottoned on to just how uncomfortable I was feeling and maybe knew why. This person was not one of those that had abused me for so long as a child but he was no doubt aware of it as he made my life just as impossible when he was around. I was just a kid but that did not stop the comments and implications directed towards me. I was just as scared of this person as the boys involved.

I had just the previous day spoke to my psych about leaving things in the past and then something like this happens. We had talked about what I do when triggered but this was an exception circumstance. I cannot generally hide the pain when it is so bad - I felt so sick at the time. I know my sister picked up on it but my old acquaintance was drinking a bit so really did not ...I am actually grateful for that.

Last night was a really hard night once I got home. To make it worse - I have been sick today and had to come home even before the day started at work - so there have been a lot of tears, a lot of sleeping and a lot of thoughts swimming around. I am having tomorrow off as well - whether I am well enough to be there or not physically, I know I am mentally not. This has been a massive hit and I can feel the effects both physically and mentally. I know it will pass in time but I feel that so much has been happening over the last year or so that my cup is empty.

From here I am unsure 'where to next'. I can feel the world closing in around me - yesterday is probably a culmination of so different emotions, so much grief, so much loss and so much to keep wading through. The beginning of this was 2 weeks ago when I saw a new pdoc and had to go through so much in such a small space of time. I felt okay in the moment doing so but it is always afterwards that it hits. My psych acknowledged this and just how hard it would have been ...I went straight back to work after the pdoc appointment and my psych has no idea how I had gotten the strength to do so - I don't either because it was incredibly hard ...but like most things - I push it away and try not to deal with it ...the result is I am where I am now - triggered massively by what happened yesterday, finding my head all over the place and wondering how I am going to find that place I was once at. ...it will be okay but a little extra support right now would help.

248 replies

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In response to: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi @Zoe7

I guess your mum and dad will make the best of things together - and they are together - you know them better than I do and naturally you are concerned. They know you are there and they can reach out if they need you - so as tough as it is - it is better to leave the to themselves right now,

It takes time to recover from a concussion and this was more than a slight bang on the head - you have had so much to deal with since it happened - I am not at all surprised that you are exhausted yourself.

Be with your little family - if you are unwell tomorrow then you will need more time to yourself to rest and recover from what has been considerable trauma - I so totally understand that.

I need to apply it to myself too. I have a busy week ahead - I rested all day yesterday and plan for that today - still there are chores. I consider my choices though and I am okay here alone - picking my way through the most important stuff - and letting the rest go until someone turns up to deal with what I cannot - mostly the floor - and right now - that's the least of my issues.

I have a telehealth appointment with a new psychologist on Wednesday - this is good - I spoke to her on the phone last week and she totally understands what I meant about clearing out my emotional cupboards of past chaos in my family - which I had deliberately and knowingly suppressed. It was always there though.

Time does past and is a great healer - your thread is that you want to forget - my dear uncle told me we need a "forgetory" - which would be great if my memory wasn't so good - but here we are today and we do what we can until a path is set out before us.

It's a wet, gloomy Sunday here - I plan to watch some old movies today - I feel as if I am recovering and wish - hope - pray - you are too.

Best thoughts

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Still thinking of your @Zoe7

I hope you had a restful day and your headache and nausea are easing.

I had my arm redressed again today - it's looking good - I don't have to go back for a week and that could be the last time - I heal fast.

Take it easy and rest all you can

Lots of love

Mumma Bear

Owlunar.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

@Owlunar I am still having headaches but Dad is also back in hospital so there is a lot going on. It also looks like the student in the class next to me that is causing so many issues will be moved to my class. It will mean a lot of restructuring and extra planning for me but I also believe he is better with me. His teacher cannot cope with him and it is starting to impact others (has been for me for a long time). I thought he should have been with me anyway - and I am more than happy to have him. He is a sweet kid but it will take time to help him settle again - we have to undo all the negative things he has had to deal with ...but we can do it and help him feel safe and wanted again.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

That's very understand of you @Zoe7 - such a teacher's heart.... It's so important.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

ohhh sending hugs @Zoe7 , @Owlunar , @Paperdaisy , @tyme 😍

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hey @tyme I love this kid - have done from the moment I met him - and I have said before he should be with me (so have other teachers). Every day is hard on him as unfortunately his current teacher does not have the skills to work with him. It will definitely not be an easy transition if they do change him to our class but I know my kids will both welcome and encourage him ...and hopefully he will feel part of our team and gain some confidence back.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

That's incredible @Zoe7 . It is so encouraging to see children welcomed and supported in their classroom. That's the way inclusion should look like. Every child has the right to be welcomed and learn.

I'm glad you can make that happen.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

I have the most incredible bunch of kids @tyme Today I was lucky to witness 2 children who would never have been put together pair up for a specialist activity (without question). The were told to turn to the closest person and this boy and girl just did it. They did not question, nor seek out anyone else - they just worked together. I was like a proud Mum and made sure to reward them for what I saw. In a very stressful day - they made me smile.

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

awww how lovely @Zoe7 😍

In response to: Re: Want to forget TW

Re: Want to forget TW

Hi again @Zoe7

I'm sorry you are still having headaches - it will take time - not easy though - and your Dad - what can I say? You thought he was not well enough to go home and this has proven the case - and this is not easy - I am with you.❤️

I take it this unhappy boy is with the teacher who isn't team-oriented - that is rough on him - he must be so frustrated - I am glad you feel fine to take him on - if he feels welcomed by you and the other children I am sure it will work out.

And your success with the two children who seems not to "work" together - and they did - well done - you are a gifted teacher and your kids are so lucky to have you.

Yes - undo the damage already done and make him feel welcome and wanted again.

That other teacher - whatever the profession or trade there are people who are not fitted for what they trained for - alas - I have met them through the years of my working life - they must be unhappy too - still - as adults they have the choice of changing their jobs. Children don't have this choice.

I had a telehealth session with my new psychologist today - via computer - camera and microphone - it went very well - she told me I as authentic - what a great compliment - I had never applied that word to myself before but she is right.

I am sending my best thoughts - for your health - your father and your new student

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

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