Piecing the shattered glass together

@Kyle1, yeah. It's just hard not to feel frustrated with myself. I am thinking of calling up SANE, I have been feeling so awful today and things can easily escalate to worse. I haven't been able to study because it hurts so much. I really hate myself right now.

You are an amazing person @creative_writer and you have so much to offer. Even when you are feeling down you still are so supportive of others.

Might be a good idea to call up SANE today - sounds like having a chat with someone might help a bit.

FloatingFeather ❤️

@FloatingFeather, I spoke to SANE, feeling better, very exhausted though. I've been under the weather and MH wasn't great, so exhaustion is probably expected. One of my goals in life is to help other people, only slowly working towards it. Lived experience can add to the care social workers provide to their clients, but at the same time, it means you need to have the tools and supervision to manage overwhelming emotions as it is a double-edged sword.

❤️

I'm glad to read you are feeling better @creative_writer - it's good that you were able to speak to one of our team but I can understand why you feel so tired. I think you're right a combination of feeling rundown plus MH not doing so great can get quite exhausting.

I think it is really honourable of you that you want to help others and I really do think lived experience can offer a layer to your skill toolbox that can't be found in uni books. I studied counselling and found it to be a bit of a double-edged sword too. Whilst I was learning a lot and working my through things some of the content was also triggering and overwhelming to deal with. I guess any type of work in when caring for others can bring up stuff for us too.

On the flip-side I think you should be really proud of yourself that despite your own stuff you still want to help others. That's says a lot about you!

@FloatingFeather, I think I’ve also been more reactive to triggering content since last year, so been feeling the effects more so. Lived experiences add another layer for sure as a MH professional and can provide some insight. I think I will still be careful about where I go. Certain fields of social work wouldn’t be ideal for me. Social work is still really rewarding. I am determined to pass to the hurdles.

I feel like disappearing, I’m okay for now.

I feel like my brain chemicals are screwed up. Sleep doesn’t feel restful. I gotta improve my circadian rhythm for mental health and migraines. I’m also dreading going home, once I am home, I’ll have to try harder to resist urges. The appointment with my psych is playing in my head from yesterday.

Hey @creative_writer

It can often be that much harder coping with the urges at home. Do you have some nice distraction activities that you might be able to do, or anything else planned?😊

@Peregrinefalcon, feeling a little sick right now. I have uni tomorrow, so I need to make sure I have everything sorted out like the laptop charged and all. The battery of my old laptop isn't all great and I still haven't been able to transfer things to my new one yet, and I don't feel up to doing all the transfer work right now. I might drift in and out of the forums right now, my head doesn't feel all that great. I will have dinner in a bit too, which will keep me occupied too. Just need to get through that little bit and that's hard when you're sick. These awful migraines only increase urges, at least mum is in her room right now.

So been doing some processing and realised that whatever I’ve been through doesn’t diminish my self worth, but makes me more empathetic, compassionate and provides insight into what it’s like living with MI. I guess I thought my self worth was diminished due to stigma and I was so worried about what other people thought. I also grew up with the people pleaser mindset. I think my parents have that mindset too, so it felt normal. I feel like I’m finally not feeling so damaged and broken. I know I have a long way to go. My stomach is still full of butterflies and I feel a sense of dread, but I’m used to living on the edge.