Power relationship

Hi @Guys. I have just emailed G and told him about Tuesday. I reiterated that he is not to worry, he will, I know that, but I think the fact that we are interstate makes him worry more. I possibly won't hear back as he is really busy, but he would be upset if I told him after. Had he have been in my life when I attempted suicide, I probably wouldn't have attempted. I met him after while I was still in that frame. I know I was a burden, when I said that, he immediately told me that was rubbish. He told me when he read my first 'cry for help', he knew he had to establish a connection. I was extremely wary at first as I had lost faith and trust in men. When I mentioned that a couple of weeks ago, he said he understood, but there was never any need to fear him. For a man to understand when a woman is 'in need' that is rare. Usually women understand women a bit better (although we can and do still get it wrong), but for a man to possess that quality, makes him pretty unique.

@Heart. He said he thought everything would be okay. He also said if anything was wrong the clinic would've notified me, so he's not too concerned. He did say to let him know, though. He asked if the clinic was open weekends, that would help, but unfortunately they close for the weekend. I will let you guys know also. Thanks for letting me share.

@moira. I was in a farcical marriage (legal, but a farce) for 25 years. My ex had been raised by a chauvinist father and mother who had been emotionally stripped of her independence. My ex MIL because of her emotional dependence on her hubby had little/no confidence and had no ability to be taught anything. My ex wasn't as chauvinistic as his dad, but he did have an extremely arrogant nature, but low self esteem. He only ever looked at worse case scenarios, but frequently referred to himself as a 'lovely man'. Like you, I was petrified at the thought of striking out alone, but knew that if I remained I would be 'lost' forever. When I left, I was informed I was being stupid, over reacting. There was never any mention of discussing why I was so unhappy. His parents, job and everything else was far more important than me. I had some severe health risks about 18 months before I left, these too were ignored as he wanted to travel o/seas for 3 months. His parents ignored me as well and told me not worry, everything would be alright. It's been nearly a year since I left and I'm happier. I no longer 'hear' him telling me what to do. He (I believe) spends much time between parents and his volunteer job. My DIL saw him recently, did not acknowledge him but was shocked at how old he looked. He is 18 months younger, but looks 20 years older. I have heard his beloved mum is in aged care due to dementia. I thought at one point about returning to emotionally support him, but my bf pointed out, this would be a waste of time as nothing would change and I would be back to square one. Yes, I do have a bf, he is the most understanding, supportive person I have ever known. I met him through another forum and he became my counsellor, later mentor, now bf. He has been there through everything. without his support, I wouldn't have had the courage to walk away and re-establish myself. It takes time and patience to re-invent yourself, but it is possible. Learning to ignore 'put downs' you hear in your mind is difficult but again, possible. Once you accept it's a voice in your mind, you can overpower and block it. I used to have trouble playing music, I would hear my ex telling me he didn't like my choices. I would automatically stop the music. After about a month of this, one day, I just continued playing, no more voices. It wasn't a form of schizophrenia, it was a controlling situation where he had the power. By continuing playing, I took back the power.