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Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@Emelia8 @Shaz51 @FloatingFeather @tyme @hanami @Eve7 @Snowie @oceangirl @MDT @moderator and others i have missed

@BPDSurvivor @amber22

Today has been a very difficult day filled with mixed emotions. I had a phone call from Victims of Crime Support and am assigned to a case worker. She was very empathetic, explained the process of going to the police. She later called back to say she had phoned the police (SOCIT) in my area and the detective she spoke to outlined briefly what would happen if i went in to make a report.

As one of my 3 abusers is now deceased i can make a disclosure report and then they will close the file.

Doing this will hopefully give me validation and closure and Victim of Crime Support said I will then be able to get some compensation for counselling.

I was to call the detective and spoke to her for a few minutes. we have made an appt for this coming thursday for me to go down to see her and give all the information about my historical abuse.

Now this is where i am nervous, anxious but at the same time i feel i need to do this for closure and validation that someone is listening to me.

I am not really sure how i will feel on thursday morning, i'd say very anxious and scared.

If someone asked me to do this years ago I would have said no. but i feel that i am at a different headspace now to go further.

So many questions running through my head. the victim of crimes support case worker will call me on friday to see how i am.

i have just emailed my psych to see if i can see her on wednesday.

have i done the right thing? i think i have but doubts.

i hope i haven't triggered anyone.

60 replies

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In response to: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

hey @hanami

my feelings this morning are:

scared

anxious

relieved

overwhelmed

I really want to tell someone my story and for them to believe me.

i know i will be a mess, i am now

so i am not sure how i will cope on thursday

i am waiting for my dr to call back to see if i can see him before thursday

i have even emailed my psych to see if i can see her tomorrow

i know on friday i have support from victims of crime support (my case worker) and also seeing my new psychologist friday afternoon

hubby said he will drive me; it's about 45 mins to get there

lots of flashbacks are coming back; details of the abuse

i am scared

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

i have just received an email from my psych saying she will see me tomorrow at 2pm.

i am relieved now that i can chat to her before thursday.

@hanami @Bow @Gwynn @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @FloatingFeather

In response to: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@BlueBay you have a lot more strength and courage than I have.

Well done on just getting this far hon. It certainly wouldn't be an easy process to go through.

Here for you through all of this 💌

In response to: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Hey @BlueBay
Thank you for including me in your post

This is an important decision you have made.

I do sincerely hope that you find closure by doing this.

I pray that you will find it brings closure .

Your friend
Hams

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

thanks so much my friends @MDT @Snowie xxxxxxx

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Do you have something planned on after your testimonial appointment to help soothe you?

I had to make a formal complaint about my former psychologist and afterwards, I went and got junk food and phoned my friend and that helped bring me back to earth after the stress of that appointment.

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@MDT @Snowie @hanami @Bow @Gwynn @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @FloatingFeather @Eve7 @oceangirl @BPDSurvivor

the tears are flowing

the nerves are kicking in

for i am scared

of what will be

it is the end of one part

and he can never hurt me anymore

for he has gone out of my life

and there won't be any rife

i still can't believe all this has happened to me; abused by 3 different perpertrators

inappropriately touched in primary school while playing at school

stalked and inappropriately touched by a man on a train while going to work

all the above happened to me from the ages of 8-20 yrs old.

why?

how do these sick people get away with it

right now the emotions are huge

i am sitting here and the tears are just coming

i don't know if i can do it

i am scared

what if i don't cope afterwards

i am home alone tonight. no one is home.

flashbacks are horrible. just horrible.

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Oh BlueBay, here with you as the past washes over you.

Can you try a grounding exercise?

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@BlueBay

Hearing you my friend

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Hi @BlueBay,

Thank you for sharing this with us. I can't imagine how much this must hurt.

Is there some one you can call to have a chat just to take your mind off for a little. You are welcome to call the different help lines.

And you are not alone, we are here with you.

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