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Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@Emelia8 @Shaz51 @FloatingFeather @tyme @hanami @Eve7 @Snowie @oceangirl @MDT @moderator and others i have missed

@BPDSurvivor @amber22

Today has been a very difficult day filled with mixed emotions. I had a phone call from Victims of Crime Support and am assigned to a case worker. She was very empathetic, explained the process of going to the police. She later called back to say she had phoned the police (SOCIT) in my area and the detective she spoke to outlined briefly what would happen if i went in to make a report.

As one of my 3 abusers is now deceased i can make a disclosure report and then they will close the file.

Doing this will hopefully give me validation and closure and Victim of Crime Support said I will then be able to get some compensation for counselling.

I was to call the detective and spoke to her for a few minutes. we have made an appt for this coming thursday for me to go down to see her and give all the information about my historical abuse.

Now this is where i am nervous, anxious but at the same time i feel i need to do this for closure and validation that someone is listening to me.

I am not really sure how i will feel on thursday morning, i'd say very anxious and scared.

If someone asked me to do this years ago I would have said no. but i feel that i am at a different headspace now to go further.

So many questions running through my head. the victim of crimes support case worker will call me on friday to see how i am.

i have just emailed my psych to see if i can see her on wednesday.

have i done the right thing? i think i have but doubts.

i hope i haven't triggered anyone.

60 replies

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In response to: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

heya @BlueBay, I just saw your other post on little A starting school too. Sounds like a lot of different things have been happening today ❤️

Sometimes big feelings like that take a bit of time to hit me too.

What will you do to cocoon today? Is there anything nice you'll do for yourself?

In response to: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

@BlueBay

Gentle Hugs Bellissima Nona

Do what you have to do to get through.

One of the big things about survivors coming forward is that those sex predatory behaviours are no longer tolerated in broader society. Even men will talk out against it, these days whereas in the old days, there was often a nudge nudge wink wink attitude about it.

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

thanks @Appleblossom xxx

i am going slow this afternoon

think i may even lay down for a while

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Hello @amber22 , @Former-Member

Love your pictures @Appleblossom xxx

Hugs my @BlueBay🥰

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

hi @Former-Member

i am going to lay in bed for a while

i think my mind is going over so much stuff from the past few weeks

i have too much going on

- police report

- now going to see a victim of crimes lawyer

- seeing a disability discrimination lawyer regarding my old job (unfair dismissal) claim

- thinking about my dad and his birthday soon (and if i will call him or not)

i sometimes don't know who i am seeing or emailing from one person to the other

i get confused

i have had to make a few phone calls this morning and it's doing my head in

i wish i could just shut all of this out forever

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

thanks my sis @Shaz51 xxxooo

hugs to you too

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

that certainly is a lot to be holding right now @BlueBay. It's understandable you're feeling this way. Is there someone you can reach out to to help with it all?

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, my brain tells me everything needs to happen at once. Not sure if it's feeling similar for you?

It sometimes helps me to write down a bit of a plan for how I'll approach it in steps, and put a lot of pressure to achieve it all immediately.

Just one step at a time ❤️

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Oh BlueBay, it is a lot. Any one of those things on their own would be a lot. Keep looking after yourself, you are worth it.

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

thanks @Gwynn @Shaz51

@Former-Member it's exactly like that. it's like my head, my mind wants to deal with all of it at once. it needs to all be fixed. but - i can't. my body is telling me NO.

and then i get very teary because i don't know where to start.

maybe for today, right now - all i can do is have a coffee and sit on the lounge

there's no easy answer

thanks all for your support xxxx

In response to: Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

Re: Making a report on my historical childhood sexual abuse

You have so much going on @BlueBay and showing so much strength.

We are here with you.

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